Desiring Engineer Comic Strips - Page 20

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

245 Results for Desiring Engineer

View 191 - 200 results for desiring engineer comic strips. Discover the best "Desiring Engineer" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 04, 2013's comic on:

Tags #online (web) news, #news manufaturer, #online media, #misleading headlines, #snarky bow, #news naturally, #engineer, #news magic, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I got a job as a news manufacturer for an online media company. I quote people out of context, add misleading headlines and tie it all up with a snarky bow. Dilbert: I thought the news occurred naturally. Dogbert: "Entineer Thinks News is Magic."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 17, 2013's comic on:

Tags #angel, #fix things, #granted wishes, #know it all, #needy, #questions, #things gone wrong, #workers, #angel of competence

View Transcript

Transcript

Angel: I am the angel of competence. I have come to mark you as an engineer turn around, Dilbert: So, its like an honor? Angel: Sure, if that makes you feel better. The Boss: Can you show me how to set ups my wireless router at home? Tina: My phone keeps freezing up, can you look at it? Ted: How long should I barbecue trick-tip? Man: The pilot lightly on my water heater is out, How do you fix cracks in a driveway? what exactly does iCloud do? GAAA!!! Dilbert: I need to talk to the angel of competence have you seen him? Wally: He died in my cubicle, Thats all Im saying.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 15, 2013's comic on:

Tags #anger, #engineers, #wages, #start up, #million each, #under paid, #money, #salray, #paid workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: This is one of the engineers that works at the start-up we purchased. We bought the company just to get the engineers. Basically, each engineer cost us a million dollars. Dilbert: I'm so underpaid! Engineer: That money didn't go to me!

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 26, 2010's comic on:

Tags #deadline, #late, #engineer code, #lightsaber, #kill, #annoy, #flashlight, #yell, #close eyes, #mouth open, #office

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I cannot meet your arbitrary deadline, so the engineer's code requires me to kill myself with a lightsaber." Dilbert says, "But lightsabers haven't been invented yet. The best I can do is annoy myself with a flashlight." The Boss says, "Could you do this in the hall?" Dilbert says, "Annoyance before dishonor!"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 04, 2010's comic on:

Tags #new product, #defective, #kill, #recall, #fix, #overalls, #bleach, #scrubby brush, #shake hands

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I have a new job for you. Our product is defective and it's killing customers." Dilbert says, "You want me to organize a recall?" The Boss says, "No." Dilbert says, "Engineer a fix?" The Boss says, "No." The Boss says, "You'll need overalls, several barrels of bleach and some sort of scrubby brush."

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 28, 2010's comic on:

Tags #new boyfriend, #coworker, #angry, #jack, #clench fist, #engineer, #social, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says, "Dilbert, meet my new boyfriend, angry Jack." Alice says, "People say my high level of engineering skill comes at the cost of good social judgment." Dilbert says, "Alice, his name is Angry Jack." Alice says, "I think he wants to hold my hand now."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 10, 2009's comic on:

Tags #meeting, #economy, #job, #screaming, #health, #Promotion, #rejection, #denial, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "Asok, the company isn't growing, and no one is quitting in this economy." The boss says, "Your only hope for promotion is if a senior engineer dies." Dilbert says, "I joined a gym!" Asok says, "No-ooo!"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 05, 2009's comic on:

Tags #trouble, #customer, #directions, #annoyed, #ashamed

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman says, "Hey, engineer, can I ask you a question?" Dilbert says, "I'm not allowed to talk to customers. We believe that honesty impedes sales." Woman says, "I think you just impeded." Dilbert says, "Oops."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 25, 2008's comic on:

Tags #engineers, #hauled away, #human resources, #questioning mental stability, #sealed in concrete, #wrapped in plastic, #bodies hidden, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Go to human resources for a psychological evaluation." Dilbert says, "Why??? Have I said anything that is abnormal?" The Boss says, "You're an engineer. Everything you say is abnormal." Catbert says, "Question one: How many bodies are hidden in the crawl space under your house?" Dilbert says, "If they are hidden, how would I know?" Catbert says, "Well, maybe you would smell them." Dilbert says, "Not if they were wrapped in heavy plastic and sealed in concrete." Wally says, "How'd it go?" Dilbert says, "Not so good."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 15, 2009's comic on:

Tags #reprimand, #ridiculous, #unwanted, #confused, #group

View Transcript

Transcript

A woman says, "Wally, we'd like to transition your role in this project." woman says, "During the first week, you were the lead engineer." woman says, "Going forward, you'll be in more of an advisory role." woman says, "And by that I mean we have a restraining order against you." woman says, "You're not allowed within 100 yards of the conference room." woman says, "We've changed our cell phone numbers and e-mail addresses." woman says, "And we're all having reconstructive surgery so you won't recognize us in the hallway." The boss says, "Did you accomplish anything this week?" Wally says, "Mary, is that you?"