Eight Patent Ideas Comic Strips - Page 20

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205 Results for Eight Patent Ideas

View 191 - 200 results for eight patent ideas comic strips. Discover the best "Eight Patent Ideas" comics from Dilbert.com.

Boss Thought Of It First

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Boss Thought Of It First - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 07, 2017's comic on:


Tags #credit, #ideas, #thinking

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Alice: And that's my idea. I think it's brilliant. Boss: I thought of that idea right before you said it. Alice: What are the odds of that? Boss: It happens to me all the time.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 26, 2017's comic on:


Tags #wages, #cost of living, #raise, #money, #rent, #apartment, #roommate, #space

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Asok: I need a raise because the cost of living around here is too high. Boss: Stop being greedy. I pay you plenty. Asok: I can't even afford to rent an apartment. Boss: Get some roommates. Asok: I can't afford that either. I've been sleeping on a baby changing table in a public restroom. And the janitor has been charging me $3,000 per month for that. Boss: How wide is the baby changing table? Asok: Not wide enough for a roommate. Boss: Well, I'm out of ideas.

Looks Good But Won't Work

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Looks Good But Won't Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 14, 2017's comic on:


Tags #ideas, #impracticality, #managers, #leadership, #threat

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Boss: The one they call Dilbert suggested we do something that looks good but won't work. CEO: Is this the first trace of management potential you've seen from him? Boss: You think it's a fluke? CEO: Let's keep an eye on it.

No Walking Away

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No Walking Away - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 06, 2017's comic on:


Tags #human resources, #policy, #conversation, #ideas, #management, #strategy, #politeness, #etiquette, #business

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Boss: The company has a new politeness policy. It is no longer acceptable to turn and walk away while a co-worker is in the middle of telling you something. Dilbert: That will add months to my project. Alice: I'm selling all of my company stock.

Winning The Meeting

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Winning The Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 18, 2017's comic on:


Tags #meetings, #game, #cruelty, #insult, #criticism

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Wally: Meetings used to be frustrating and boring until I gamified that situation. Now I try to win meetings by criticizing co-workers offering no ideas of my own, and leaving without any new task. Dilbert: You call that winning? Wally: Compared to my victims, yes.

Fake Email From The Ceo

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Fake Email From The Ceo - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 06, 2017's comic on:


Tags #virus, #infection, #malware, #technology, #typo, #literacy

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Dilbert: I can't delete the Elbonian virus in our network. It keeps replicating. Holy carp! It created a fake email full of typos and bad ideas and sent it out from our CEO's account! Wait, no. That's actually from our CEO. Wally: Maybe the virus can fix him.

Bad Analogies

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Bad Analogies - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 17, 2018's comic on:


Tags #ideas, #criticism, #critique, #simile, #language

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Man: Your idea is awful. Dilbert: Can you explain your reasons without using an absurd analogy? Man: It's like a pregnant squirrel eating a sandwich. Dilbert: I'll take that as a no.

To Do List

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To Do List - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 28, 2018's comic on:


Tags #to-do list, #list, #task, #stress, #assignments

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Dilbert: I'd better make a list of all the things I need to do today. Narrator: Eight hours later. Dilbert: I have 347 urgent tasks, and I add about seven new ones each day. I'll cross "make a to-do list" off my to-do list and call it a day.

Wally Has An Idea

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Wally Has An Idea - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 20, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Wally, #alice, #Dilbert, #coffee, #work, #criteria, #criticism

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Wally: I have an idea on how to fix our process. Alice: I've noticed that all of your ideas make everyone but you work harder. Wally: Apparently, we have different criteria for what makes an idea great.

Wally Has An Idea For Carol

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Wally Has An Idea For Carol - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 21, 2018's comic on:


Tags #carol, #Wally, #bike, #compliment, #insults

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Wally: I have a great idea for you. Carol: Keep it to yourself. Your ideas are always insults masquerading as helpfulness. Wally: You seem cranky. Have you considered riding a bike to work? Carol: Die, monster!