Face On Pennies Comic Strips - Page 20
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Man says, "A salesman borrowed the demo unit that you flew across the country to see." Man says, "Can I show you something totally irrelevant so this doesn't feel so awkward?" Dilbert says, "Give me a minute to get out of the splatter zone."
The Boss says, "I hired a new poltergeist for our copy machine. Our old one got promoted to the server farm." Dilbert says, "Wouldn't it be better to not have any poltergeists?" The Boss says, "It's a union thing." Tina says, "May I please have my original back?" Poltergeist says, "I can't hear you. Put your face up close."
Dilbert says, "It's a cell phone shaped like an old man's head." Dilbert says, "It sits on your shoulder so you don't look as if you're talking to yourself." Dilbert says, "People probably told Edison that his lightbulb was creepy too."
The Boss says, "Meet our new vice president of engineering." The Boss says, "We're lucky to have him despite his utter lack of experience in our industry." The Boss says, "Some might call him unqualified, but I call him exotic." Vice President says, "You're over-selling."
Wally says, "I asked for a transfer to our missile guidance engineering division." Wally says, "Once they get to know me, they'll only give me unimportant tasks so I won't accidentally destroy a fishing village." Wally says, "The great thing about unimportant tasks is that no one really cares if you do them."
Asok says, "It's a medical conditions called sympathetic Powerpoint proboscis. My nose grows when other people lie." Man says, "I'm very concerned and interested in your condition, and not just because I'm trying to sell you something." Asok says, "Please stop." Asok says, "It might sting when I pull it out."
The Boss says, "If you help bring in a new account, I'll give you a raise, unless there's no money in the budget then for raises." Alice says, "Please don't say what I think you're going to say next." The Boss says, "It's better than nothing." Alice says, "No it isn't!"
Alice says, "Guess what, Ted? I volunteered to run a critical project while knowing I don't have enough resources." Alice says, "When it becomes a crisis, I will delcare martial law and order you to become my flunky." Alice says, "In your face, puppet boy!" Ted says, "This day is turning out to be a little extra sucky."
Dogbert says, "You're a third-rate company in a dying industry." Dogbert says, "I recommend consultant-assisted corporate suicide." The Boss says, "Will it hurt?" Dogbert says, "It might sting a little when you announce your'e going to be a web-only company."
Woman says, "What's your take on this, Dilbert?" Dilbert says, "What? Sorry. I was using this time to think about something useful." Woman says, "Maybe your boss can fill you in." The Boss says, "I was brain-golfing."