Finish In Month Comic Strips - Page 20

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258 Results for Finish In Month

View 191 - 200 results for finish in month comic strips. Discover the best "Finish In Month" comics from Dilbert.com.

Get Off Wally's Back!

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Get Off Wally's Back! - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags anger, deadlines, laziness, mean, work ethic, yelling

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Coworker: Wally, did you finish the... Wally: Get off my back! Why can't you just trust me to do my work on time?!?! Coworker: Sorry... Dilbert: Who were you yelling at? Wally: Beats me. It didn't seem important.

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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags deadline, expectation, impossible, irrational, leadership, motivation, rationality

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Boss: How many days will it take to finish the tests? Dilbert: Three. Boss: You have two. Dilbert: I can't do it in two days. That's why I said three. Boss: That was before I used my leadership skills to tell you to do it in two days. Dilbert: Leadership doesn't change the laws of physics. The test takes three days. Boss: You have two. Leadership! These test results look incomplete. Dilbert: Just like my soul.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags deadlines, deadline, management, time management, projects, distraction, multitasking

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Boss: When do you think you can get that done for me? Dilbert: Depends. If I had no interruptions, I could finish in four hours. But we have to factor in the inefficiency of your management. For example, you're likely to give me six new projects before I get started on this one. And you force me to work in ta noisy office surrounded by all the people I need to avoid to get work done. Given all of that, I'd say it will take seven months. Boss: I'll give you three months because I'm a leader. Dilbert: Oookay. And... how much of the three months will involve you standing there?

Tina Strings Economic Words Together

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Tina Strings Economic Words Together - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags economist, economy, deception, jargon, prediction, stock market, recession, money

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Wally The Chief Economist. Tina: My interview with you is live on the website. Nothing you said made sense, so I strung together a bunch of economic jargon and called it your forecast. One Month Later. Computer: Only one economist accurately predicted when this bubble would burst. Dilbert: Uh-oh.

Wally's Many Patents

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Wally's Many Patents - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags accomplishments, deception, work ethic, patent, inventions

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Boss: On your list of accomplishments, you say you filed seventeen patents for the company this month. Wally: I did. Here's the documentation on each of them. Boss: Hmm... it will be three years before I know if these are accepted. Wally: Until then, let's play it safe and assume I'm awesome.

Rewarding Wally's Failures

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Rewarding Wally's Failures - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags failure, excuse, laziness, justification, reasoning, excuses

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Wally: You should be celebrating my failures instead of punishing me for them. Failure is the raw material of success. If I am not failing, it means I am not pushing myself hard enough. Boss: Fine. What have you failed at? Wally: I failed to work on my project this month.

Employees Should Be Optimists

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Employees Should Be Optimists - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags optimism, optimist, work ethic, gullible, trick, deception

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Catbert: The Evil Director of Human Resources. Catbert: Ideally, you want all of your employees to be optimists. Because optimists believe anything you tell them. Boss: If you work all weekend, and our profits double in a month, I'll give you a helicopter. Asok: Deal!

Dilbert Working On Boss's Side Job

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Dilbert Working On Boss's Side Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work, labor, free, taking advantage, side job, boss, conflict of interest

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Boss: Did you finish the website I asked you to make for my side business? Dilbert: No, because you keep me busy 100 percent of the time in my regular job. Boss: Hey, it isn't easy asking for twice as many status updates either.

Dilbert's Project Is Late

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Dilbert's Project Is Late - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags raise, wages, money, salary, catch-22, anger, frustration, labor, review

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Boss: I can't give you a raise because you didn't finish your project on time. Dilbert: That's because you make me work on your personal project half of every day. Boss: You have to learn to say no. Dilbert: I've never wanted to kill you more than right now.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags anger, deadline, team, teamwork, frustration, rage, telekinesis, business

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Alice: I worked all night to finish my part. Coworker: I admire your work ethic, Alice. I only finished half of my part. Alice: Wait... if you didn't finish your part, it was a total waste of time for me to finish mine. Coworker: That's one way to look at it. Alice: What time last night did you know you would not be done by today? Coworker: Must have been about six. I got hungry, then I had to unwind. Are you trying to make my head explode by focusing anger at my skull? Alice: First time that worked. Practice paid off.