Great Cup Holder Comic Strips - Page 20

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View 191 - 200 results for great cup holder comic strips. Discover the best "Great Cup Holder" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #self employed, #invent valuable things, #exploit them, #resource, #bad input, #Dogbert

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the kitchen table and enjoy a cup of coffee together. Dilbert says, "I'm thinking of quitting and working for myself." Dogbert says, "Come work for me." Dilbert says, "Doing what?" Dogbert says, "You'll invent things and I'll exploit you... I mean them." Dilbert says, "I'm not sure you'd be the best boss, Dogbert." Dogbert says, "Don't give me that input you 'resource.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #industrial espionage program, #secret reports, #plan, #fire dumb people, #perfect cover

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Dilbert and Alice are talking in the hall over a cup of coffee. Bob walks up holding a box of his office supplies and says, "I've been chosen for the industrial espionage program." Bob gets an evil look on his face and says, "The plan is that I quit this job and go work for our competitor. Every week I'll send back secret reports." Alice says, "Bob, this is how we fire dumb people." Bob turns to go and says, "That's why it's the perfect cover."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #telecommute dogbert, #personalities, #zero a number, #debate, #try to develop personality

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Dilbert sits on the couch drinking a cup of coffee and wearing a bathrobe. He says, "It takes a certain type of personality to telecommute, Dogbert." Dogbert's ears shoot up in the air and he says, "What?" Dogbert says, "Just because other people have personalities doesn't mean YOU should try to develop one." Dilbert frowns and says, "I HAVE a personality!" Dogbert says, "Let's not get into that 'Is zero a number' debate again."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #very technical, #gallery, #google eyed marketeers

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Dilbert holds up a diagram and says, "This is very technical. I'll explain..." The marketing guy leans in to see better. As the marketing guy's eyes swirl around Dilbert snaps a picture with his camera. Dilbert posts the picture on the wall with many others like it under a sign reading "Gallery of Googly-Eyed Marketeers" Wally holds a cup of coffee and says, "Drool! Good one."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #above salary midpoint, #stock options, #interpersonal skills

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In The Boss's office, The Boss tells Alice, "I can't give you a raise because you're above the salary midpoint. But at least your stock options are doing great!" Alice says, "I don't have any stock options." The Boss says, "Oh. I'm probably thinking of me." The Boss says, "Next, it says I should coach you on your interpersonal skills."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cartoonist, #ceo, #conference, #Dilbert, #key note speakers, #politician, #useful content

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AT THE CONFERENCE Dilbert: They have some great key note speakers here. There s a CEO....A politician....another CEO...and a cartoonist. Speaker: IN they cartoon, Gilbert goes to a conference that has no useful content. Dilbert: I know guys like that,

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sychophant, #puckered lips, #boss sidekick, #introductions

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The Boss introduces Dilbert to Allen, whose lips are permanently puckered. Allen and The Boss are holding mugs. The Boss says, "Dilbert, this is Allen, my new sycophant." The Boss says, "His head nods whenever I talk but that's not the best part..." The Boss places his mug on Allen's puckered lips and says, "Is that great or what?" Dilbert responds, "Very impressive."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #co worker, #man, #attractive woman, #socializing, #dating

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Dilbert sees a co-worker whose hair stands straight up. Dilbert asks, "What's wrong with you?" The man replies, "I have A.W.S." Dilbert asks, "You have 'Attractive Woman Syndrome' HERE??" The man replies, "She was just hired." The man shouts, "Run!" The Boss approaches and says, "Dilbert, I'd like you to meet Liz." Dilbert thinks, "Uh-oh . . . My metabolism is increasing. My brain is suppressing what little social skills I have." The woman says, "Hi." Dilbert extends his hand and says, "It's a pleasure to meet me. I hope you never find a live turtle in your soup." Sweat flies off Dilbert's forehead. Dilbert covers his face with a piece of paper and thinks, "Aaagh! What was that supposed to mean??" Liz looks scared. The paper sticks to Dilbert's face and he thinks, "Oh great . . . The correction fluid wasn't dry. It's stuck to my eyebrows." Dilbert arrives at home with the document still stuck to his face. He asks Dogbert, "What can I do to stop frightening attractive women?" Dogbert replies, "That mask is a step in the right direction."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #Wally, #Dilbert, #ted, #managment

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The Boss stands behind Ted's desk and says, "Ted, you're part of the company 'right sizing' program, effective today." Ted replies, "Thank you! It's nice to get positive feedback from the boss!" The Boss says, "It's not feedback. I'm saying your position has been 'management adjusted.'" Ted replies, "Sounds great! Is there a raise involved?" The Boss says angrily, "Listen to me!! You're part of 'manager attrition' starting right now!" Ted says, "Wow! Is that the fast-track program for managers?" Wally tells Dilbert, "I heard that Ted got picked for the 'manager attrition' program." Dilbert asks angrily, "Why not us?" Dilbert and Wally stand across from the Boss's desk. Dilbert says, "So unless you put us on the 'manager attrition' program too, we quit!" The Boss thinks, "There's never a flamethrower handy when you need it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #outdoors, #philosophy

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Dilbert and Dogbert walk in the park. Dilbert says, "The great thing about being human is that I'm superior to all other animals." Dogbert asks, "On what do you base that absurd conclusion?" Dilbert replies, "Humans have the ability to kill any other animal. Therefore, we are superior." Dogbert says, "You could be slaughtered by chipmunks if they ever decide to gang up." Dilbert responds, "But they wouldn't decide to do that. That's why humans are superior." Dilbert continues, "Chipmunks waste their days by eating nuts and playing instead of plotting ways to kill other species." They sit down under a tree. Dogbert says, "It's futile to argue with you." Dilbert replies, "Thank you." A chipmunk in the tree says, "I say we kill him. Is anybody with me?"