Low Cost Provider Comic Strips - Page 20
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279 Results for Low Cost Provider
View 191 - 200 results for low cost provider comic strips. Discover the best "Low Cost Provider" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday February 28,
2004
Tags #dogbert consults, #easy financing, #price gouge, #leasing advice, #paying, #products
Transcript
Dogbert consults Dogbert: "You should offer your customers easy financing." "That disguises the true cost of your products so you can price-gouge and people will thank you." "How much are we paying you?" "I'm leasing my advice to you." "Thank you."
Wednesday April 28,
2004
Tags #spouses get benefits, #marry each other, #fluorescent light, #walls head, #director of hr, #save money
Transcript
Catbert, the evil director of HR "Married employees cost us more because spouses get benefits." "If we can get our employees to marry each other we'll save money." "Have you ever noticed how the fluorescent light glistens off of Wally's head."
Friday April 30,
2004
Tags #least popular feature, #generate revenue, #save money, #steal idea
Transcript
Dilbert: I recommend that we eliminate the least popular features because they cost us more than they generate in revenue. The Boss: I have an idea. Lets laminate the least popular features to save money. Dilbert: I suggest that we eliminate the least popular features . The Boss: I steal that idea to infinity.
Wednesday May 26,
2004
Tags #kodos, #morale, #mascot, #meetings, #moral improves, #bear suit, #meeting, #low morale, #idea for imprvement, #business
Transcript
The Boss: "His name is Kudos, the bear-er of good morale!" "Kudos" "He's our new mascot. He'll attend all of our meetings until morale improves." "Today is Asok's turn in the suit."
Tuesday August 03,
2004
Tags #opyomotrist, #nears sighted visonaries, #nerve expect worst, #charge price
Transcript
I've decided to become an optometrist for near-sighted visionaries. "They're ideal customers because they never expect the worst." "Which price am I most likely to charge you?" "The low one!"
Wednesday October 06,
2004
Tags #filthy, #buck passer, #up your alley, #anger, #disgust, #low life, #sleaze bag
Transcript
The buck-passer "Alice, this task is right up your alley." "Why should I do your work, you filthy buck-passer?!" "Because it's right up your alley." "It's gonna be right up your alley."
Wednesday November 24,
2004
Tags #email, #face on cows butt, #morale, #objects, #off color jokes, #photoshopped
Transcript
The boss: "Alice, you've ben accused of forwarding off-color jokes by e-mail." The Boss: "Do you object to the increase in morale or the nickel it cost the company so far?" "I object to my face being photoshopped to a cow's butt." Alice: "You object to art?"
Sunday September 19,
1999
Tags #give his presentation, #irrelevant comparisons, #low budget, #development time, #computers faster, #obvious insights
Transcript
Dilbert stands next to a blank projection screen. He says, "My boss asked me to give his presentation." Dilbert puts a transparency on the overhead projector, saying, "I'll start with his irrelevant comparisons." Dilbert points to the projection, saying, "Our budget is lower than last year...". His co-workers watch as Dilbert continues, "When we had completely different projects." Pointing to a projection of a graph, Dilbert continues, "Our average product development time is less...". The co-workers watch as Dilbert continues, "Than the average for companies who make different products." Dilbert puts another transparency on the projector, saying, "Let's move on to his list of blindingly obvious insights." Standing next to the projction, Dilbert says, "If it's okay with you, I won't read them aloud." The projection reads, "Computers are getting faster!"
Friday April 01,
2005
Tags #habitual liar, #skull, #talking skull, #running marathin, #genie in bottle
Transcript
Habitual Liar: Alice: Are you sticking with you story that you're still alive?" Liar: "I feel terrific!" "I'm running a marathon later today." Low Priced Cremations While You Wait "I'm a gennie in a bottle! Make a wish!" Alice: "GAAA!!!"
Monday May 02,
2005
Tags #share cubicle, #outrageous, #fight, #board of directors, #importance of teamwork
Transcript
The Boss: "Dilbert, we're low on space. You'll have to share your cubicle." Dilbert: "This is outrageous! I will fight this all the way to the board of directors!" share cubicle,"Hola. My name is Lola." "But then I remembered the importance of teamwork."