Management Comic Strips - Page 20

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341 Results for Management

View 191 - 200 results for management comic strips. Discover the best "Management" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags self mangled team, vital tasks, staus report, kiss some butts, track your time

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The Boss says to Dilbert, Wally and Alice, "I'm going to make your group a 'self-managed team.'" The Boss continues, "All of the vital management tasks that I've been doing will now be shared among you." Dilbert says to Wally and Alice, "Stop your work and give me a status report." Alice says, "Track your time." Wally says, "I think I'll kiss some butts."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags stay engineer, career in mangement, engineer, dark side, found probelm, engineering

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Dilbert sits on his couch and Dogbert sits on the armrest. Dilbert says, "I can't decide if I should stay with engineering or pursue a career in management." Dilbert continues, "In my heart I'm an engineer but I hear a voice calling me to the dark side." Dogbert looks behind the couch and sees a man dressed as a devil. Dogbert says, "I found your problem." The devil says, "Boy is my face red."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, the boss, introduce, new employee, odyssey, bud, vice-versa, week

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The Boss says, "Dilbert, I'd like you to introduce the new guy to everybody." Dilbert thinks, "Groan." The Boss walks away thinking, "This way I never have to learn their names." Dilbert tells the new guy, "The first stop on our odyssey is Bud." Dilbert says, "Uh . . . Bud, this is the new guy, and vice versa." The new guy smiles. Bud looks up from the newspaper and says, "What's this?! Another pink-bottomed, Ivy League, management 'trainee'?!" Bud shouts, "In MY day, you had to start at the bottom . . . And by golly, you STAYED there!!" The new guy asks, "How long have you worked here?" Bud replies, "A week . . . This happens pretty quickly."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags budget estimates, year, bungling, indecison, no capital several months, reckless, ear end, orgy of aquisition, capital

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Wally hands the Boss a document and says, "Here are my budget estimates for the year." Wally continues, "Thanks to management bungling and indecision, I plan to use no capital for several months followed by a reckless year-end orgy of acquisition." Wally asks, "Is that what you were looking for?" The Boss responds, "Tell me again what 'capital' is."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags strategic alliance, doomed, inefficient managemnet, create competing compnay, must find, new company, strategic allainace

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Dilbert stands in front of an overhead projector and points at a skull and crossbones diagram. Dilbert says, "The status of our strategic alliance is 'doomed.'" Dilbert continues while the Boss listens, "Our ponderous and inefficient management style caused their best people to quit and create a competing company." The Boss says, "We must find a way to destroy that new company." Dilbert replies, "I'll see if they're interested in a strategic alliance."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags million dollars, ten thousand, separate business cards, value added support

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Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "You need a million dollars but I only have authority to sign for up to ten thousand." The Boss says, "Break it into a hundred separate business cases." Dilbert says, "Thank you for your value-added management support." The Boss replies, "It was nothing."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags capital budget, ceo, motivation, open book mangement, read financial statement

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The Boss sits at a table, his hands folded together and says, "We're going to try something called 'open book management.'" The Boss looks to Dilbert and Wally and syas, "We'll teach you to read the finacial statements of this company. It's all very motivating." Wally looks at a report and says, "... and our CEO got paid more than the entire capital budget." Alice says, "Is this what motivation feels like?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags analysts, got a raise, growth, lazy ones, open book management, smooth earnigs, stock market, money

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The Boss says to Asok the Intern, "So you see, if you got a raise, our earnings growth wouldn't be so smooth." The Boss asks, "And smooth earnings are good for who?" Asok ventures a guess, "Stock market analysts?" The Boss corrects him, "Specifically, the lazy ones." Asok says, "I'm fine. Now that I understand."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags open book management, debt, equity ratio, sweeping, broom, carpets

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The janitor stands behind Alice at her workstation and says, "... then I sez, "Hey our debt to equity ratio is increasing." The janitor sweeps his broom through the air. "I lept into action and started seeping like I've never swept before!" The janitor says, "Then I sez, 'Hey, why am I using a broom on carpets?'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags presumed dead, like to work, finished three projects, lost five pounds, gave up coffee, seven patents, everyone prodcutive, life without mangement, paradise, spoon hug

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Wally and Dilbert are wearing casual clothes. Dilbert is dancing and Wally sits at his computer. Wally says, "Now that our Boss is presumed dead, I found I like to work." Dilbert says, "I finished three projects today!" Alice leans into the cubicle and says, "I lost five pounds, gave up coffee, and applied for seven patents!" Dilbert says, "Go, Alice!" Wally says, "Life without management is like paradise!" Tina the Tech Writer walks in and says, "Who wants to spoon-hug?"