Office Equipment Comic Strips - Page 20
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1000 Results for Office Equipment
View 191 - 200 results for office equipment comic strips. Discover the best "Office Equipment" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday December 01,
2011
Tags obliviousness, obstinacy, office workers, whiteboard, conference room, prohject timeline, zombie reflex mode
Transcript
Dilbert: Don't clean the whiteboard in the conference room. It has my project timeline. Janitor: I can't promise that. I slip into a sort of zombie reflex mode when I do this job. Dilbert: I envy you. Janitor: Would you like a few minutes to say goodbye to your timeline?
Saturday December 10,
2011
Tags despair, office workers, self respect, prison, goals, slavery, self inflicted, angry, weak
Transcript
Wally: Self-respect is like a prison for the soul. Goals are a form of self-inflicted slavery. Boss: Sorry I'm late. Wally: That which does not kill us makes us angry and weak.
Friday December 16,
2011
Tags gadgets, phone heard, phone scheduled meeting, schedule a meeting., secretaries (office), digital world, replaces humans
Transcript
Boss: Schedule a meeting with Dilbert and Alice for next Tuesday at ten. Phone: Done. Boss: Never mind. My phone took care of it. Awkward.
Sunday December 11,
2011
Tags meetings, office workers, focus areas, sense of humor, dumb enogh, misunderstood man, angry idiot, selling it
Transcript
Boss: These are our 25 focus areas for next year. Asok: Ha ha! Good one. Sometimes I think you have no sense of humor and then zing! What? Dilbert: I think it's real. Asok: It can't be real. No one would be dumb enough to think we can focus on 25 areas. Don't worry. I've got this. This misunderstood man is a brilliant comedian. He is only pretending to be an angry idiot. You're totally selling it.
Sunday December 18,
2011
Tags declare failure, explaining things, frustration, incompetence, office workers, partial victory, platform upgarde, teds brain, trapped
Transcript
Boss: Ted can explain what you need to do before the platform upgrade. Dilbert: No he can't. Ted's brain is where knowledge goes to die. He's not good at explaining things. The knowledge might be in his brain, but it's trapped there. Unfortunately, Ted's incompetence is so unbelievable that you literally don't believe me. In time, you will assume that Ted taught me well but I forgot all of it. I'm doomed before I start. Let's just declare failure and move on. Boss: That works for me. Dilbert: Partial victory.
Friday January 27,
2012
Tags benefits of personhood, chemical nutrients, death & dying, inventions, petri dish, robot, scientific equipment, skin cells, sneezes, science
Transcript
Wally: Before I die, I plan to put some of my skin cells in a petri dish with chemical nutrients and store it inside a robot. By law, I will still be alive as long as any part of my body is functioning. My robot will enjoy the full benefits of personhood. My robot and I will live forever! Dilbert: Until it sneezes you out.
Monday February 27,
2012
Tags internet & world wide web, ideas, wine, liquid lunch, tweet, down trodden, sense of humor, twitter, cell phone, office, technology
Transcript
BAD IDEA Boss: I should drink wine at lunch more often. WORSE IDEA I'm in the mood to tweet. WORST IDEA I hope the down-trodden have a sense of humor.
Thursday April 05,
2012
Tags computer software, free software, run slow, upgrades, office, cubicles, free
Transcript
Dogbert: Want some free software? Boss: What's it do? Dogbert: All it does is beg you for upgrades. And if you upgrade, then it begs you to upgrade again and so on. And it makes all of you other software run slow. Boss: And it's free?
Monday April 23,
2012
Tags business ethics, lawyers & attorneys, apps, contact information, users address books, data, office, desk, meeting, store data, business
Transcript
Coworker: Please tell me our apps don't steal contact information from our users' address books. Boss: We upload the data but we don't store it. Coworker: That's like saying I can date your wife if I put a bag over her head. Boss: That could work. Coworker: I don't think I'm getting through to you.
Friday June 01,
2012
Tags Astrology, furniture, magic, feng shui, black magic, voodoo, psychic, overbooked, office design, occult
Transcript
Dilbert: The feng shui consultant you asked for is overbooked. But I found a guy who is heavily into astrology, black magic, and voodoo. Boss: Are you trying to tell me something? Dilbert: Ask him. He's also a psychic.

