Ordered On Internet Comic Strips - Page 20

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243 Results for Ordered On Internet

View 191 - 200 results for ordered on internet comic strips. Discover the best "Ordered On Internet" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #internet & world wide web, #surveillance, #government databases, #rest passwords, #case file, #face on pennies

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Wally: I thought you were on the run for hacking the government's databases. Dilbert: I was. But they forgot to reset their passwords, so I deleted my case file and gave myself a tax break. Wally: Did you get me anything? Dilbert: You're the new face on pennies.

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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating, #internet & world wide web, #social media cosultant, #one like, #less than ten thousand, #insulting, #elbonian, #inflate your like count, #socialize, #wine glasses, #bar wine, #kiss, #relationships

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Dilbert: What do you do for a living? Woman: I'm a social media consultant. Dilbert: I like you. Woman: Phhht. You're giving me one like? Anything less than ten thousand likes is an insult. Dilbert: I'll be right back. I hired an Elbonian to artificially inflate your like count. Elbonian: Like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like. Dilbert: I am not paying that guy.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #internet & world wide web, #inventions, #google search engine, #existing prodcuts, #crushing dreams, #new invention

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Dilbert: Behold my new invention, the likes of which the world has never seen. Dogbert: Behold my Google search engine that will find several existing products that do whatever that thing does. Dilbert: Please don't. Dogbert: Google: crushing dreams since 1998. click click click

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computer software, #frustration, #internet & world wide web, #syoe, #shut down, #quit, #drown it

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Alice: Okay, Skype. Let's see if I can figure out how to shut you down. Close! Quit! Sign out! Minimize! Quit! Yes! Close! Quit! Die! Die! Die! Dilbert: Did you close Skype. Alice: Almost. I'm heading to the ocean to drown it.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #defense industry, #internet & world wide web, #browser, #firewall, #hackers, #fluke

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Agent: The government would like to use your browser history as a firewall against Elbonian hackers. One look at what you're up to will make them blind and crazy. I know because it worked on me. Elbonian: That's probably a fluke. You try. A Week Later in Elbonia

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #internet & world wide web, #managers & supervisors, #work ethic, #facebook, #work, #home, #unpaid work, #business

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Boss: You're not allowed to use Facebook at work. Alice: Fine. I'll use it at home tonight instead of doing the three hours of unpaid work I was planning to do. Boss: I"m calling that a win.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #annoyance, #friendship, #internet & world wide web, #facebook, #freinds, #post things, #inconvienient, #relationships

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Wally: I want to use Facebook to waste time at work, but I don't have any friends. Do you mind if I friend you? Dilbert: Sure. You'll be my only friend. Wally: Will you post things for me to look at. Dilbert: Wow. Friends are totally inconvenient.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #executives, #rich people, #wages, #ceo lifestyle, #yacht, #penthouse, #estate, #priceless art, #million dollar watch, #money

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Dilbert: Hey, look! There's a story on the Internet about your fabulous CEO lifestyle. Here's a picture of your yacht, your penthouse in New York, your palatial estate, and your priceless art. CEO: This really isn't the time. Dilbert: Said the man with the million-dollar watch.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineers, #internet & world wide web, #pride, #google, #smart, #pure energy, #life form, #gmail

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Boss; I hired an engineer from Google. He's so smart that he evolved into a life-form that exists as pure energy. Engineer: Bow before my greatness, you pitiful humans! Boss: Sometimes he's a bit arrogant. Engineer: I once added a feature to gmail!

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #internet & world wide web, #work ethic, #telecommuting, #exhausting, #dumb founded

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Dilbert: I thought you were telecommuting this week. Wally: It was too exhausting. Dilbert: I have no follow-up questions.