Questioning Employees Comic Strips - Page 20

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View 191 - 200 results for questioning employees comic strips. Discover the best "Questioning Employees" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags mathematics, questioning, second option, feels right, ignore data, intuition, slippery slope, witch craft

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Boss: The second option feels right. Let's go with that. Dilbert: Should we always ignore what the data says, or is this more of a one-time thing? Boss: It's call intuition. Dilbert: It's a slippery slope to witchcraft.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employees, unemployed, job performance, fire someone, cubicle, fired, wake up call, greatness, business

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Boss: Dilbert, your job performance is terrific. Dilbert: GAAA!!! That's code for "I'm going to fire someone else and make you do two jobs." Boss: Yes, but it's still better to be you than the guy I'm going to fire. Dilbert: We don't know that! This might be the wake-up call that spurs him on to greatness while I work myself to death in this cubicle. Boss: There's no way to please some people. Ted, you're fired. Ted: YES!

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags joking, questioning, feel free, questions, ghosts have clothes, wedgie

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Boss: Are there any questions? Feel free to ask anything at all. Wally: Why do ghosts have clothes? Dilbert: If someone gives you a wedgie at the moment you die, will you have it for eternity?

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employees, violence, burt nount, started yesterday, sneezed away, business

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Man: Hi, my name is Burnt Nount. I started here yesterday. Alice: Sneeze coming. AAACHOOO!! I gotta warn you, they come in threes.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags computers & peripherals, office equipment, questioning, wise garbageman, powerpoint slides, only delicious, small does, analogy, works for flies

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Dilbert: Wise garbage man, tell me why Powerpoint slides are so boring. Garbageman: Powerpoint is a lot like garbage. It's only delicious in small doses. Too much can kill you. Dilbert: That analogy only works for flies. Garbageman: Oooh. Look who thinks she's better than flies.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cruelty, employees, employee of month, october 1929, room to grow, past date, past month, business

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Boss: Congratulations, Asok. I'm naming you employee of the month. Your month is October 1929. Room to grow.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags doctors, employees, medicines, nice guys, paid less, aggressive jerks, offer raise, testosterone injections, illegal, dangerous, unethical, tiny income, business

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Dilbert: Studies show that nice guys get paid less than aggressive jerks. Dogbert: Maybe you should offer your doctor 10% of your next raise if he gives you testosterone injections. Dilbert: That would be illegal, dangerous, and unethical. Dogbert: Said the man with the tiny income.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employees, office workers, worked at home, work tonight, leaving early, work late, business

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Boss: Leaving early? Dilbert: If you count the two hours I worked at home when I woke up, and the two hours I'll work tonight you'll come out way ahead today. Boss: How will I come out if you do all of that plus work late here?

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employees, illness, marketing people, brain heals, drank sludge, brain worm, dead in a week, business

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Asok: Hi-ho, marketing people! I've been transferred into your department until mky brain heals. I drank some industrial sludge. But don't worry - I'll be able to shake it off in a few days. A little pollution can't hurt me. I grew up in India. This brain worm will be dead in a week, tops.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employees, executives, non giant situation, shoulders of giants, non giant, business

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CEO: As your CEO, if I have seen farther, it is only because I stood on the shoulders of giants. Plus whatever is going on over here. Dilbert: That's sort of a non-giant situation. Wally: And I haven't had shoulders since I was ten.