Reading Comic Strips - Page 20
205 Results for Reading
View 191 - 200 results for reading comic strips. Discover the best "Reading" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share October 01, 2000's comic on:
The boss, Wally, Alice and Dilbert are at a conference table. The boss says, "Wally, what's the status of our vital records protection plan?"` Wally thinks, "Think fast." Wally says, "I..uh...did extensive interviews with key stakeholders." Wally continues, "Then I..uh...formed a plan.." Wally says, "Now all the records are digitized and stored with 512 bit encryption..." Wally continues, "..At the center of the earth..on natural magnets." The boss says, "I meant you should read the project team's status report." Wally, reading, says, "They claim to have a plan. Liars."
Share December 31, 2000's comic on:
Dilbert asks Catbert, "Any advice?" Catbert says, "Try to be less like you." Dilbert, carrying a bunch of flowers, thinks, "That might work." Dilbert hands the flowers to a female co-worker and thinks, "Less like me... Less like me." The female co-worker says to Dilbert, "I collect crystals." Dilbert thinks, "Uh-oh." The female co-worker says, "I don't know of any scientific evidence that they can heal." Dilbert thinks, "Whew." The female co-worker says to Dilbert, "But it's my point of view that they do." Dilbert says to the female co-worker, "When did ignorance become a point of view?" Seated in a restaurant reading a menu, Dilbert sits across from the frowning female co-worker and thinks, "Too much like me."
Share May 14, 2013's comic on:
CEO: I'm reading a book about what it takes to be a great leader. Do you know what Steve Jobs, Warren Buffett, Gandhi, and Ryan Seacrest have in common? Dilbert: None of them read this book. CEO: And they are carbon-based life-forms.
Share June 30, 2013's comic on:
Boss: I'm reading a great management book about the rules of leadership. Dilbert: Allow me to put that in context. There are probably 10,000 books about leadership, and each one has a different approach. And there are millions of real leaders, of which no two are alike. Moreover, every situation is unique and requires a different type of leader. And yet this one author has found a magic formula to transform you from a gullible baboon into a great leader. And that makes sense because all great leaders throughout history achieved success by reading a random book. Boss: I don't like context. Dilbert: It isn't popular.
Share November 16, 2013's comic on:
Wally: Our competitors have technology for reading brain waves at a distance. This shielded helmet will prevent them from reading the company secrets in your mind. You owe me $20. Dilbert: The bet was that he has to wear the trash can for a week.
Share August 08, 2014's comic on:
Asok: I'm reading a book that says the key to success is networking with successful people. CEO: Did you get to the chapter where it says successful people should avoid all contact with losers? Asok: It seems we have a standoff. CEO: Security.
Share February 24, 2015's comic on:
Boss: Asok, you can beat market averages by doing your own stock research. Asok: So... you believe every investor can beat the average by reading the same information? Boss: Yes. Asok: Makes you wonder why more people don't do it. Boss: Just lazy, I guess.
Share July 10, 2016's comic on:
Dilbert: I have too much work, and it's stressing me out. Boss: I've been reading about this sort of situation. Try writing don all the things that make you feel grateful. Dilbert: That would be more work! Boss: For your anger issues, try keeping a journal of all the times you lose your temper. Dilbert: That would be more work! Has anyone ever taken your advice? Boss: Do you know the guy in Marketing with the eye patch? Dilbert: He followed your advice? Boss: Half of it.
Share November 03, 2016's comic on:
Share May 02, 2017's comic on:
Tina: Can I borrow your phone to make a call? I dropped mine and broke it. Dilbert: No, I don't like other people touching my phone, or breathing on it, or reading my messages. Tina: You have a lot of issues. Dilbert: Said the person who doesn't use protective phone cases because they are ugly.