Reading Zero Comic Strips - Page 20

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

243 Results for Reading Zero

View 191 - 200 results for reading zero comic strips. Discover the best "Reading Zero" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 02, 2009's comic on:


Tags #reading, #e-mail, #money, #broke, #budget cuts, #cleaning, #toilet

View Transcript

Transcript

To all staff: We had to let our cleaning crew go for budget reasons. In a separate e-mail, I will explain our new 'Adopt a toilet' program. Dilbert says, "I have to be honest, Timmy. I don't see college in your future."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 09, 2009's comic on:


Tags #newspaper, #scared, #praying, #stock broker, #sitting, #computer, #reading, #smiling, #technology, #Entertainment

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol says, "Your stockbroker is in the news today." The boss says, "Uh-oh." The boss says, "Please be because he won a humanitarian award?or he was killed by a celebrity." Carol says, "Ironically, several celebrity humanitarians do want to kill him now." The boss says, "Gaaaa!!!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 22, 2009's comic on:


Tags #reading, #witch, #new employee, #spreadsheet, #decision, #comparing, #angry, #offended

View Transcript

Transcript

The MBA verses the crazy old witch The boss says, "I don't know who to believe." The boss says, "Spreadsheets don't lie, but neither does bat excrement." The boss says, "Remind me again who ruined the economy. Was it witches?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 26, 2009's comic on:


Tags #excuses, #lying down, #table, #reading, #agenda, #sleeping, #lazy

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "Agenda items four through seven don't involve me." Wally says, "I'll use that time to take a refreshing table nap. Experts say it's good for productivity." The boss says, "I need to talk to those experts." Zzzzzzz

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 10, 2009's comic on:


Tags #layoffs, #fired, #surprised, #mean, #cruel, #reading

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss says, "Ted, business is slow, and I have to let you go." The boss says, "But I already did your performance review so I thought you might benefit from constructive feedback." Ted says, "'You're like a blister on a skunk's colon.'" The boss says, "A tiny one."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 22, 2009's comic on:


Tags #reading, #budget, #fixing, #failure

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "We can only afford to fix the high-priority bugs." Dilbert says, "If we don't fix 100% of the bugs, the software will be 100% useless." Dilbert says, "So our plan is to fail?" The boss says, "More slowly."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 25, 2009's comic on:


Tags #lying, #reading, #taxes, #audit, #ridiculous, #costume

View Transcript

Transcript

Income Tax Auditor Man says, "You claim your company is exempt from taxes because you're incorporated in?heaven?" Dogbert says, "Exactly." Man says, "I'm not allowed to question that claim because of the seperation between church and state." Wally says, "I am the angel Wally!" DOgbert says, "Hold on, Wally. We're selling past the close."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 15, 2009's comic on:


Tags #writing, #newsletter, #reading, #ridicule, #Family, #annoyed

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina says, "I've been asked to chronicle your rise to management for the company newsletter." Tina says, "So far, I have the story of how your father was a barrel-shaped moron who married a blind woman." Tina says, "But it could have been the other way around. I'm mostly guessing." The boss says, "Lucky guess."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 16, 2009's comic on:


Tags #reading, #writing, #newsletter, #ridicule, #angry, #yelling

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina says, "For the company newsletter profile, I need to know how you rose from being an ignorant baboon to an overpaid speed bump." Tina says, "And make it not boring." The boss says, "I'm not an overpaid speed bump!" Tina says, "My fact-checker will need to see your pay stub."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 25, 2009's comic on:


Tags #assignment, #stupidity, #yelling, #Advice, #reading

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "Tina, answer this customer complaint. And remembert, the customer is always an idiot." Tina says, "I think you mean the customer is always?um?oh my?" The boss says, "Quick! Pop your ears so your head doesn't explode!" Gurk!