Sold All Stock Comic Strips - Page 20

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

195 Results for Sold All Stock

View 191 - 195 results for sold all stock comic strips. Discover the best "Sold All Stock" comics from Dilbert.com.

Boss Finds A Thumb Drive

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Finds A Thumb Drive  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computers, #infection, #malware, #obliviousness, #virus, #hacker, #hacking

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I found a thumb drive on the sidewalk. It must be my lucky day. It's like free money! Dilbert: Can free money infect our network, too? Boss: You worry too much. Dilbert: If you need me, I'll be selling all of my company stock.

Doctor And Dopamine

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 Doctor And Dopamine - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #addiction, #impulse control, #social media, #twitter, #facebook, #pharmaceuticals, #drugs, #gambling, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Doctor: The MRI shows that your brain has been hijacked by dopamine pirates. You are now under the full control of social media corporations, gambling casinos, and big pharma. Boss: Are you writing me a prescription? Doctor: No, I'm buying stock in those companies.

Beg And Pay Store

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Beg And Pay Store - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #buying, #selling, #begging, #internet

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: i'm opening a beg-and-pay store. dilbert: what will you be selling? dogbert: selling? dogbert: you are way behind the times. dogbert: stores don't sell things anymore. dogbert: selling would require good customer service and lots of stock on hand. dogbert: if you want that sort of thing, use the internet. dogbert: i just want a place where people can go and beg me to sell them stuff that isn't in stock. office worker: can you help me find this hat in my size? dogbert: beg!!!

Wally Has Symptoms

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Has Symptoms  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lie, #office workers, #sickness, #pandemic, #virus

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: My throat has a tickle, so I'd better take a month off of work. The coronavirus tests can have some false negatives, and I love you too much to put you at risk. Dilbert: Did it work? Wally: No, I sold it too hard.

C Level Sacrifice

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
C Level Sacrifice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #political issues, #stock market, #technology, #brand, #board, #fire, #Politics, #ruin, #human, #sacrifice, #chief technology officer, #performance, #employment

View Transcript

Transcript

catbert: the board wants to fire you for speaking out about politics and ruining our brand. ceo: ask if they'll accept a c-level human sacrifice instead. catbert: they said yes. ceo: now fire my cto and tell him it's something about his performance.