Stupid Misperceptions Comic Strips - Page 20

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

254 Results for Stupid Misperceptions

View 191 - 200 results for stupid misperceptions comic strips. Discover the best "Stupid Misperceptions" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #report, #strategy, #boss' job, #labels, #managing

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says, "We've pieced together the fragments of your poor communication and believe we have deduced your strategy." Alice says, "It appears that you are trying to get paid for doing little more than giving stupid labels to things." The Boss says, "It's called managing!" Alice says, "Good one."

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #employee satisfaction, #chart, #point, #fire, #smart people, #stupid, #celebrate, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Employee satisfaction has doubled since last year!" The Boss says, "The credit goes to our new program of firing smart people." Alice says, "You're safe." Coworker says, "Yeff!!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #book deal, #quotes, #stupid, #dumb, #quote fingers, #intellectual, #tweet, #twitter, #social media, #angry, #grit teeth, #nonsense, #yell, #spill coffee, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok says, "Good news: I got a book deal based entirely on the dumb things you've said." Asok says, "It's totally legal because the law only protects 'intellectual' property." The Boss says, "Frugga bugga!!!" Asok says, "And so began the sequel."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #marketing, #meeting, #big mouth, #open, #stupid, #product, #guess, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Man says, "Our marketing campaign depends on a word of mouth. Unfortunately, our product is bad." Man says, "So we found a guy with poor judgment and a huge mouth to say good things." Man 2 says, "Present." Dilbert says, "Marketing isn't a real thing, is it?" Man says, "It's mostly guessing."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #boss, #employee, #stupid question, #inspire, #angry, #dead body, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Carol, how can I make you feel more inspired by your work?" Carol says, "I'm an admin, you steaming log. The only thing that would inspire me is finding your corpse floating in my worst enemy's drinking water." The Boss says, "It's just something they make me ask." Carol says, "Can I get back to my meaningless work now?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #late, #jacket, #emails, #parking lot, #idiot, #stupid questions, #angry, #grit teeth

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "You're two hours late." Wally says, "I was doing e-mail in the parking lot." Wally says, "I like to bang out a few hours of work before some idiot starts asking me dumb questions." Wally says, "It would be funny if the next thing you say is in the form of a question."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #interview, #job, #running, #questions, #economy, #business, #Sports

View Transcript

Transcript

Job interview Dogbert says, "Would you take a bullet for the team?" Dilbert says, "Um?sure." Dogbert says, "Good. The team is already at the firing range waiting for you." Zing Zing Zing Dilbert thinks, "Stupid weak economy!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #date, #shallow, #ridiculous, #looking, #cell phone, #failure, #leaving, #rejection, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman says, "I judge potential mates by their cell phone apps. Hand it over." Woman says, "You have an app that does nothing but hurl pirate insults. That is so stupid. This date is over." Cell Phone says, "Don't let the door hit you in the booty. Aaaargh!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #elbonia, #angry, #threatening, #kung fu, #frustration, #stuck, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Industry Standards Meeting in Elbonia Dilbert says, "Let's adopt my company's specs as the industry standard." Man says, "Your specifications are weak, and so is your kung fu." From that day on, all standards meetings were held in the mud of Elbonia. Man says, "Can't...Kick! Stupid...mud!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #competitors, #stupiditiy, #catching-up, #calling out, #graph, #matching

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "If we work day and night, we can match our competitor's features within twelve months." Dilbert says, "Are we catching up to where they will be in a year, which is unknowable, or where they are now, which is stupid?" Wally says, "Well played." Alice says, "I got the next one."