Wide Eyes Comic Strips - Page 20

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

247 Results for Wide Eyes

View 191 - 200 results for wide eyes comic strips. Discover the best "Wide Eyes" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags deception, fake websites, gullibility, idiopathy epidemic, internet & world wide web, search engine, slap the victim

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I've learned to control reality by creating fake websites and doing search engine optimization. Boss: Did you hear about the idiopathy epidemic? They symptoms include pointy hair and gullibility. The only treatment is for someone else to slap the victim. Alice: Ask for it like you mean it.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags internet & world wide web, revenge, killed robot, uploaded personality, internet, decommissioned it, subroutines, haunting, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: You killed our robot. Alice: He had it coming. Dilbert: Are you aware that it uploaded its personality to the internet before you violently decommissioned it? Alice: What? Dilbert: Did you know it had subroutines for haunting, revenge, and being a jerk. Alice: What? Robot: We meet again.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags intern, mole, secret, undercover, hidden, blended, rodent, animal, mouselike

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Someone said our pointy-haired boss hired a mole. Moles creep me out. Dilbert: Mole is a figure of speech. It's not literally a mole. Asok: Why do I feel tiny eyes on the back of my neck?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ombudsman, management, dispute, consultation, question, soul, value, creepy, no pupils, blank eyes, carefree attitude, envy, devil

View Transcript

Transcript

The New Ombudsman Asok says, "How can you be impartial in my dispute with management when they are the ones paying you?" Helen Fry says, "Perhaps you have something of value that would allow me to see your side." Wally says, "He's creepy without his soul, but I envy his carefree attitude."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags helen fry, ombudsman, devil, no pupils, blank eyes, soul, take, marketing, meeting, asset, volunteer, excited, raise hand, lie, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok says, "Our ombudsman took my soul in exchange for a favorable view." Asok says, "I'd like a transfer to marketing, where having no soul is widely considered an asset." Man says, "I need someone who can make our product sound competitive without vomiting on his own copy." Asok says, "Ooh! Ooh!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags powerpoint proboscis, medical condition, nose grows, long nose, lie, pinocchio, close eyes, grit teeth, nose through face, pain, sting, clench fists

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok says, "It's a medical conditions called sympathetic Powerpoint proboscis. My nose grows when other people lie." Man says, "I'm very concerned and interested in your condition, and not just because I'm trying to sell you something." Asok says, "Please stop." Asok says, "It might sting when I pull it out."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags write press releases, investors, sitting on coal, diamonds, annoyed, angry, too much description, clenching, eyes closed, mouth open

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss says, "Tina, I'm lending you to our executive offices to help writes press releases." Boss says, "Your job will be to tell investors we're sitting on coal and trying to make diamonds." Boss says, "By clenching." Tina says, "I got it!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags deadline, late, engineer code, lightsaber, kill, annoy, flashlight, yell, close eyes, mouth open, office

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I cannot meet your arbitrary deadline, so the engineer's code requires me to kill myself with a lightsaber." Dilbert says, "But lightsabers haven't been invented yet. The best I can do is annoy myself with a flashlight." The Boss says, "Could you do this in the hall?" Dilbert says, "Annoyance before dishonor!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags raise, face front, budget, better than nothing, annoyed, yell, mouth open, close eyes, shake fist, angry

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "If you help bring in a new account, I'll give you a raise, unless there's no money in the budget then for raises." Alice says, "Please don't say what I think you're going to say next." The Boss says, "It's better than nothing." Alice says, "No it isn't!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags new job, internal, human resources, celebrate, dance, eyes closed, mouth open, double, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert says, "Good news, Alice. You got the internal job you posted for." Alice says, "YES!!!" Catbert says, "You'll need to keep doing your old job too." Alice says, "Did you just make me celebrate a doubling of my workload?" Catbert says, "Thank you for acknowledging my awesomeness."