Window Control Comic Strips - Page 20
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263 Results for Window Control
View 191 - 200 results for window control comic strips. Discover the best "Window Control" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday July 25,
2008
Tags #ceo, #escape justice, #support group, #thrown out wondow, #injured, #casts, #bandages
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I need to find a support group for people who have my same problem." Dilbert says, "Type 'thrown out of a fifth floor window by a CEO who will escape justice.'" A man says, "look who doesn't have a broken leg. Do you think you're better than us?"
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Wednesday July 30,
2008
Tags #court room, #judge, #lawyer, #ceo, #witness, #defendant, #die die die, #admits guilt, #first question, #legal
Transcript
Dogbert says, "Where were you on the day that Dilbert was pushed out of your office window?" The CEO says, "I was directly behind him, in this position, yelling 'die, die, die!'" The CEO says, "The first question is just practice, right?"
Saturday June 05,
2010
Tags #quality metric, #bid proposals, #magic powers, #sarcastic, #silly, #joke, #serious, #hand paper, #muggles, #harry potter, #men in black
Transcript
The Boss says, "Your quality metric for next year is to win 30% more bid proposals." Dilbert says, "No problem. I'll use my magic powers to control how much our competitors bid." The Boss says, "I worry that you're not taking this seriously." Dilbert says, "If the muggles find out, I'll wipe their memories."
Tuesday July 06,
2010
Tags #internet, #toolbar, #browser, #download, #cubicle, #important, #technology
Transcript
The Boss says, "Whenever my browswer asks me if I want to install a toolbar, I'm afraid to say no." The Boss says, "Now my browser window is only one inch tall." The Boss says, "If you see anything important on the Internet, could you write it down for me?"
Thursday July 29,
2010
Tags #public relations, #statue of liberty, #destroy, #new york harbor, #weapon demo, #remorse, #fake, #glasses, #fake tears, #water, #flood
Transcript
Dogbert the public relations consultant Dogbert says, "The public won't forgive you until you fake some remorse." Dogbert says, "These glasses have a hose that leads to a pumping station and a huge reservoir of fake tears." CEO says, "If we have another press conference, we should crack open a window."
Friday September 17,
2010
Tags #book deal, #ghost writer, #dog, #publishing, #first draft, #quotes, #knife, #dying, #dead, #wave hand, #animals
Transcript
Dogbert Publishing Dogbert says, "I'm assigning a ghost writer to tighten up your first draft." Dogbert says, "Technically, he's not a ghost yet. He's just a guy who lost a knife fight." Asok says, "How long do I have to wait?" Dogbert says, "If you're in a hurry, steer him toward the window."
Thursday September 10,
2009
Tags #assignment, #job, #work, #scheme, #guessing, #cruel, #mean, #business
Transcript
The boss says, "Ted, your new responsibility is to keep the pigeons from defiling our ledges." Ted says, "Are you hoping this awful assignment will cause me to quit?" The boss says, "Not at all." Ted says, "Are you hoping I'll fall out a window?" The boss says, "Maybe you should stop guessing now,"
Saturday October 17,
2009
Tags #sitting, #complaining, #excuse, #meeting, #annoyed, #angry, #frustration, #business
Transcript
Ted the Drama queen Ted says, "I can't attend the meeting Tuesday because Barry thinks I didn't return his flash drive." Ted says, "I'm afraid of him because he's a liar and a drunk, and I heard he killed a cab driver." Ted says, "I'd wear a disguise, but prosthetic adhesives give me hives." Alice thinks, "Must...control...jack...hammer." buddabuddabudda
Thursday March 10,
2011
Tags #blinds, #co workers, #cubilce, #screen glare, #sunlight, #vampire, #window coverings, #share office
Transcript
Dilbert: why do you keep closing the blinds? Mordac: Screen glare? GAAAA!!! Dilbert: Screen glare. Alice: don't care.
Monday August 20,
2007
Tags #highest paid, #tell each employee, #dont tell, #secrecy, #lies, #control
Transcript
The Boss: "Alice, you have the highest salary in the department. But don't tell anyone what it is." "Dilbert, you have the highest salary in the department. But don't tell anyone what it is." "I can't believe I never thought of that before." Catbert: "Yeah, especially since you're the highest paid manager."