Real Winner Comic Strips - Page 21

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207 Results for Real Winner

View 201 - 207 results for real winner comic strips. Discover the best "Real Winner" comics from Dilbert.com.

Circular Debating

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Circular Debating - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #argument, #debates, #frustration, #moon, #conspiracy

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Wally: Thanks to my new circular debating technique. I haven't lost a debate in weeks. Watch this. The moon landing was a hoax. Man: No, it wasn't. Wally: The flag was moving in the wind. Man: I'll send you a link debunking the flag thing. Wally: Okay, but how do you explain the multiple light sources? Man: Here's another link debunking that claim. Fifteen minutes later Man: I have now debunked all ten of your ridiculous claims will you agree the moon landing was real? Wally: How do you explain the flag moving? Man: Gaaaa!!! I give up!! You win!!!

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Centralizing The Decentralized

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Centralizing The Decentralized - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #business, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #sarcasm, #value

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Boss: I need to randomly change something so it seems as if being a manager is a real job. Maybe I should centralize all the functions I decentralized last year. Catbert: Or you could find a way to add value. Boss: I'm not magic.

Cooties In Elbonia

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Cooties In Elbonia - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cooties, #deny, #elbonia, #managers & supervisors, #outbreak, #science, #symptom, #technology, #news

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boss: the news says there's a major outbreak of cooties in elbonia. dilbert: i don't think cooties is a real thing. boss: experts say one of the symptoms of cooties is "denying science."

Cooties Diagnosis

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Cooties Diagnosis - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #confirmed, #cooties, #diagnosis, #doctor, #medicine, #Opinion, #professional, #skepticism, #symptom, #test

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doctor: in my professional opinion, you have a bad case of the cooties. we don't have any tests for cooties, but the main symptom is skepticism, and you have that. dilbert: cooties are not real. doctor: diagnosis confirmed.

Not A Monopoly

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Not A Monopoly - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #senior managment, #ceo, #government, #monopoly, #product, #essential, #modern, #life, #competition, #company, #compete, #buy out, #fail, #face mask

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ceo: the government is threatening to regulate us like a monopoly. boss: are we not a monopoly? ceo: we are simply a company that makes an essential product for modern life, and we have no real competition. boss: that sounds like a monopoly. ceo: no, we are not because other companies could compete with us if they wanted. boss: and of they tried? ceo: as soon as they got some traction we'd buy them and shut them down. dilbert: so... they would fail every time. ceo: but they could try.

Cushion In Schedule

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Cushion In Schedule - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #weekend, #work, #deadline, #due date, #schedule, #input, #critical, #liar, #credibility, #exaggerate

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dilbert: i worked all weekend to get this done for you by the deadline. boss: thanks, but i won't need it for another two weeks. dilbert: then...why did you tell me the deadline was today? boss: i built some cushion into the schedule. dilbert: you mean, you lied to me about the real deadline. in other words, you don't trust me, you are a liar, and i should never believe you again. boss: but you didn't miss the deadline! dilbert: okay, well, at least my input is critical to our success. boss: i might have exaggerated that.

Motivosity Bucks

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Motivosity Bucks - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #working, #weekend, #employment, #bucks, #money, #motivosity

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boss: thanks for working all weekend to get the project done, dilbert. i award you two motivosity bucks. dilbert: i like real money better. boss: that just cost you two motivosity bucks.