Business Failures/Bankruptcies Comic Strips - Page 21

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View 201 - 210 results for business failures/bankruptcies comic strips. Discover the best "Business Failures/Bankruptcies" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags motivational message, employees, first day, rest of the week, business

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The boss sits at his desk. He speaks into a PA system but the handset is held upside down. The Boss says, "This is today's motivational message for all employees." The Boss says, "Today is the first day of the rest of the week." The Boss thinks, "Or is it?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags powerless peon, agent of change, dynamic work group, business card, paper trail

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The boss stands. Dilbert sits. The Boss says, "Don't think of yourself as a powerless peon in a box." The Boss says, "You're an agent of change is a dynamic, natural work group." Dilbert stands in front of his cubicle. Dilbert says, "Can I put that on my business cards?" The Boss says, "I'd rather not leave a paper trail."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags project, needs attention, meeting, helper for porject, engineers, business

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The Boss, Wally and Alice sit at the conference table. Wally says, "This project needs your complete attention." Alice says, "Wally's right. Forget the other projects and focus on that one." Wally, Alice and Dilbert eat lunch. Dilbert says, "Did I miss anything at the meeting?" Wally says, "We got you a little helper for your project."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags personal business, lunch hour, work through lunch, take full hour, internet, business only, limited zeros and ones, technology

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Dilbert leans his head in the Boss's office and says, "I'm going to do some personal business during my lunch hour." Dilbert continues, "Normally I would work through lunch." Dilbert says, "But this will take a full hour." Dilbert turns to leave and says, "It would only take two minutes if I used the Internet." Dilbert turns back towards the Boss and wags his finger, saying, "But the internet is for business use only!" The Boss stares as Dilbert says, "Our company has a limited number of zeroes and ones." Dilbert holds out his arms and says, "When they're gone, they're gone. Furthermore..." Wally looks at Dilbert and asks, "You mocked him for a full hour?" Dilbert says, "Now it's time to eat."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags time to work, two assignments, essential business, boss solution, impossible, doesn't understand

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Dilbert stands in The Boss's doorway. Dilbert holds two pieces of paper. Dilbert says, "I have time to do ONE of these two assignments." Dilbert says, "One is essential to the business the other is not. Which ONE do you want me to do?" The Boss says, "Both!" Dilbert says, "I know you WANT both. But if you can only GET one..." The Boss says, "Combine them and just do one."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags morale problem, boss solutions, knickname for group, scatalogical, involves monkeys, meeting, decide nickname, suggestions, business

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The Boss stands at the front of the room in front of an easel that says "Morale Problem." The Boss says, "I have a solution to our morale problem." The Boss continues, "We need a nickname for our group." Dilbert raises his hand and asks, "Can it be something scatological?" The Boss replies, "Ummm...no." Wally asks, "How about something that involves monkeys?" The Boss says, "I don't think so." Dilbert raises his hand and says, "Oooh...but can it be something that's both scatological AND involves monkeys?" Wally walks out of the meeting and says, "It's hard to be optimistic when he's so grumpy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags experimental medical procedures, unicron, antidepressant, therapy, instructions, will make laugh, psychology

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The Boss pionts a big ray gun like machine at Alice, Dilbert and Wally. The Boss says, "Our new line of business is testing experimental medical procedures on employees." Alice, Dilbert and Wally look shocked. The Boss says, "Today's test is called the unicorn antidepressant therapy." The Boss fiddles with the machine. The Boss says, "According to the instructions, in a few minutes, I'll see something that will make me laugh." Alice looks upward at a bump beginning to grow on her forhead. Dilbert and Wally put their hands to their brows.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sadistic nut, dennis, insulting, sadistic, meeting, assume skills, thousand dead camels, rotting flesh, business

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A Young Woman, Dennis, and Dilbert sit at the conference table. The young woman asks, "Are there any questions?" Dennis, the sadistic nut, yells, "Why does your body lotion smell like the rotting flest of a thousand dead camels?" The Young Woman turns to Wally and says, "I assume he has valuable skills." Wally tells her, "No, you're thinking of a prima donna."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags human resources, job interview, name, tubby, human resources dept, sent resume, entrepreneur, toby, made up name, business

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Caption reads: "Catbert the Director of Human Resources." Catbert stands on the table in front of a prospective applicant. He says, "So, you want a job here, Tubby?" The man replies, "It's 'Toby.'" Catbert looks at the sheet of paper in his hand and asks, "Did you just correct me?" The man says, "Um..." Catbert turns and shouts at the man, "I alone will determine your name!!" Catbert looks at him and asks, "Now, what is your name?" The man answers, "Tubby." Catbert reads the paper and says, "Tubby, is it true that you're so dumb that you..." Catbert holds out the paper and continues, "...Sent your resume to the human resources department?" The man looks frightened as Catbert continues, "Do you think that's what this department does? Let me show you what I do." The man is seen walking down the hall, his clothes torn into shreds and looking beaten up. The man says, "I think I just became an entrepreneur."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags shredder, rigged, sadistic coowrker, void the warranty, marketing, business

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Alice, Dilbert and wally sit at lunch. Alice says, "Don't use the shredder today." Alice says, "I rigged it to kill our new sadistic nut co-worker." Dilbert says, "Whoa! Whoa!" Dilbert says, "Doesn't that void the warranty?" Alice says, "I'll switch shredders with marketing tomorrow."