Competition (Psychology) Comic Strips - Page 21
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237 Results for Competition (Psychology)
View 201 - 210 results for competition (psychology) comic strips. Discover the best "Competition (Psychology)" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday December 31,
2017
Tags artificial intelligence, ai, alexa, echo, google home, personality, psychology
Transcript
Dilbert: I made a huge breakthrough in artificial intelligence. Ask the device anything. Boss: What do you want for dinner? Device: I don't care. What do you want? Boss: I was thinking maybe Chinese food. Device: I'm not in the mood for that. Boss: Then why did you say you don't care?? Device: Now I'm not even hungry. Boss: Why? What's wrong? Device: Nothing is wrong. Boss: you nailed it.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Sunday January 07,
2018
Tags hot peppers, competition, burned, unedible, face burned, fire, group, face burn, head, flame
Transcript
Topper Dilbert: I tried a Habanero pepper last night, It almost burned off my face. Ted: Thats Nothing. I can eat the hottest peppers in the world and not even break a sweat. Dilbert: Im glad you said that, because I have with me the hottest peppers in the world. Ted: Pfft. easy. Gulp. FOOM! Dilbert: Will you admit you were wrong? Ted: You don't see any sweat , do you?
Saturday February 03,
2018
Money Can't Buy Happiness
Tags happiness, work, motivation, meaning, money, raise, wages, excuses, psychology
Transcript
Dilbert: I want a raise. Boss: Money can't buy happiness. Dilbert: Then why do people work? Boss: To avoid unhappiness. Dilbert: What's my best-case scenario here? Boss: I'll motivate you toward a neutral, zombie-like existence.
Thursday February 22,
2018
Compensation Based On Happiness
Tags happiness, company culture, raise, wages, job satisfaction, compensation, psychology, money
Transcript
Boss: From now on, your compensation will be a function of your baseline happiness. We don't want to waste money giving raises to employees who won't get any happier no matter what we do. Dilbert: This plan makes me unhappy. Boss: Nice try, but you were already unhappy.
Monday February 26,
2018
Dogbert's Personality Profiles
Tags consultant, personality, test, business, psychology
Transcript
Dogbert: I have the results of your Dogbert Personality Profiles. Based on your questionnaire answers, Alice is angry, Wally is lazy, and Dilbert is boring. Dilbert: How are we supposed to use this new information? Dogbert: Wake me up when he's done talking.
Wednesday February 28,
2018
Disgruntled Carol
Tags personality test, personality, mental illness, fear, threat, danger, psychology
Transcript
Boss: Did you take The Dogbert Personality Type Test? Carol: Yes. I'm a disgruntled psychopath with a blinding hatred for authority. Boss: I'll be in my office. Carol: Good! Stay there!
Thursday March 08,
2018
Alice Mentors The New Guy
Friday March 09,
2018
Boss Loves Criticism
Tags mentor, mentee, protege, Advice, competition, deception
Transcript
Alice The Mentor. Alice: One thing I can tell you about our boss is that he loves constructive criticism. Man: I feel as if your advice is intended to make me fail because you see me as a threat to take your job. Alice: And he loves it when you grab him by the hair and yell, "handles!"
Saturday March 10,
2018
Mentor Can't Tell A Hoax From Reality
Tags Advice, competition, bad advice, deception, wedgie
Transcript
Man: Alice has been mentoring me for a month, and I can't tell how much of her advice is real and how much is a hoax. For example, she advised me to give our boss a wedgie because she said he likes assertive people. Is that real? Dilbert: I'm gonna say yes.
Thursday April 19,
2018
Terrible Personality
Tags hiring, company culture, personality, engineers, psychology
Transcript
Boss: Which one of the engineering candidates should I hire? Dilbert: Both are highly experienced, but one has a terrible personality. Boss: Sounds like a perfect fit. Dilbert: I told him to expect an offer.

