Defective Coworker Comic Strips - Page 21
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272 Results for Defective Coworker
View 201 - 210 results for defective coworker comic strips. Discover the best "Defective Coworker" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday May 24,
2013
Tags #obliviousness, #pride, #incompetent, #phd, #pretending allowed
Transcript
Coworker: I have no real-world experience and I am incompetent at everything. But unlike any of you, I have a Ph.D., and that means you have to take me seriously. Dilbert: Is pretending allowed? Coworker: Totally. It all looks the same to me.
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Tuesday June 04,
2013
Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #first draft, #blah blah blah, #worthless
Transcript
Wally: Let me know if you have any changes to my first draft. Coworker: This literally says the words "blah, blah, blah." Are you lazy? Wally: No, I'm worthless. Lazy would have been one "blah."
Sunday June 09,
2013
Tags #frustration, #bias for action, #enemy of good, #folksy, #spray defective stuff
Transcript
CEO: We need to have a bias for action. Don't let perfect be the enemy of good. Dilbert: So... a carpenter should saw the board first and measure it later? CEO: Your use of that folksy saying makes my strategy sound dumb. Alice: Why do you care if your strategy is perfect or not? Dilbert: You just said it's more important to spray your defective stuff on the universe than it is to get things right. CEO: "Spray my defective stuff?" Dilbert: Should I have waited for a perfect way to say that?
Tuesday June 18,
2013
Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #work ethic, #too many smart people, #boost perfromance, #strategy, #not paying attention
Transcript
Boss: Studies say that having too many smart people in a group lowers productivity. So I seeded this project team with an idiot to boost performance. Coworker: My strategy of not paying attention in school is finally paying off.
Friday June 21,
2013
Tags #frustration, #work ethic, #assignment, #deadline, #tasks, #finsihing
Transcript
Boss: You didn't finish your assignment by the deadline. Wally: It won't matter as long as one other employee is also late, because the project can't move forward until everyone does their tasks. Wait fir it... wait... Coworker: You know how I was supposed to finish that thing?
Monday June 24,
2013
Tags #cruelty, #era, #original signature, #signatures, #time machine, #telegraph system
Transcript
Coworker: You'll need to mail me the original signature page after everyone signs it. Dilbert: No problem. I'll use my time machine to go back to an era in which mailing original signatures made some kind of sense. I wonder if there will ever be a way to send images over the telegraph system.
Saturday June 29,
2013
Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #internet & world wide web, #binder, #cloud
Transcript
Boss: Alan has been out of the workforce for a long time. I need you to ease him back in. Coworker: Do you have a binder of the company policies? Dilbert: It's in the cloud.
Friday July 12,
2013
Tags #meetings, #work ethic, #attend meetings, #add value, #big idea guy, #conceptualist
Transcript
Coworker: You attend all of my project meetings but you never add value. Wally: I'm more of a big idea guy-- a conceptualist, if you will. Coworker: Okay, what's your big idea? Wally: Okay, here's where my system breaks down.
Monday July 15,
2013
Tags #deception, #business card, #no @ sign, #email, #missing number, #phone number
Transcript
Wally : Mere's my card. Let me know if I can be of further assistance. Coworker: Your phone number is missing a digit and your email address doesn't have an @ symbol. Wally: I didn't say it would be easy.
Tuesday July 16,
2013
Tags #work ethic, #work best, #under pressure, #deadline, #corner stone
Transcript
Coworker: Wally, are you almost done with your part of the project? Wally: I work best under pressure, so I wait until the deadline is almost here. Coworker: What if something more important comes up and you don't have time? Wally: That's the cornerstone of my system.