Everyone Participates Comic Strips - Page 21

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

277 Results for Everyone Participates

View 201 - 210 results for everyone participates comic strips. Discover the best "Everyone Participates" comics from Dilbert.com.

Technical Analysis

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Technical Analysis - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #bad advice, #investing, #stock market, #stocks, #squirrel sitting, #clown shoulder, #technical analysis, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Lessons in Investing. Boss: You should buy a stock whenever the chart looks like a squirrel sitting on a clown's shoulder. That's called "technical analysis." Asok: I'm not going to do that. Boss: Good. Because it doesn't work if everyone does it.

View more books now

Everyone Can Beat The Market Average

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Everyone Can Beat The Market Average - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #bad advice, #investing, #investor, #stock market, #stock reserch, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Asok, you can beat market averages by doing your own stock research. Asok: So... you believe every investor can beat the average by reading the same information? Boss: Yes. Asok: Makes you wonder why more people don't do it. Boss: Just lazy, I guess.

Wally Wins A Nobel For Economics

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Wins A Nobel For Economics - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pedantic, #internet, #troll, #correction, #nobel prize, #economy, #economist, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally The Economist. Dilbert: I wonder if you'll win the Nobel Prize for Economics. Man: There is no "Nobel Prize for Economics," you idiot! You mean The Sveriges Riksbank Prize In Memory of Alfred Nobel. Dilbert; Do we know you? Man: I'm Dick, from the Internet. Everyone knows me.

Tell Everyone You Are Writing A Novel

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tell Everyone You Are Writing A Novel - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #writer, #reputation, #writing, #novel, #peer pressure, #motivation, #frustration, #writers block

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'm telling everyone I'm writing a novel. That way I can leverage the invisible hand of social influence to motivate me for the next year. Alice: Have you written anything yet? Dilbert: Stop badgering me!!!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #quality, #work ethic, #shortcut, #laziness, #defective, #awards, #engineer, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Congratulations to everyone who worked on our new laptop design. As I call your name, come up and get your certificate of accomplishment. Alice was in charge of the hardware and won several design awards. Dilbert was in charge of the award-winning software. And... Wally designed the power brick that weighs more than the laptop...and comes apart for no apparent reason. We probably won't show this in our ads. Wally: Hey, I worked on that for almost an hour!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #credit, #motivation, #obliviousness, #hiring, #logic, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The secret to success is hiring the right people. Dilbert: Then why doesn't everyone do that? Boss: It takes a lot of skill to hire the right people. Dilbert: Did you just find a way to take all of the credit for the team's success? And did you do it in a clever way that was intended to make you look humble even while hogging all the credit? Boss: I also motivate you. Dilbert: You're money?

Asok Is Not A Terrorist

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok Is Not A Terrorist - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #muslim, #islam, #terrorist, #terrorism, #assume, #assumption, #appearances, #racism, #racist, #bigot

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Are you a terrorist? Asok: Why does everyone keep asking me that? Boss: You look like one. Asok: Well, I'm not, you racist. Boss: Is it more of a sympathizer situation? Asok: Stop radicalizing me!

Dogbert's Negotiating Class

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert's Negotiating Class - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #book, #deal, #negotiating, #negotiation, #self help, #guest artist, #josh shipley

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: Welcome to Dogbert's one-week training class for negotiators. I believe in leading by example, so this entire course will involve me trying to persuade you to buy my book. If everyone in the class buys my book, you can all have the rest of the week off. Voice: Done.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #capitalism, #big business, #competition, #benefit

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: The company's goal is to make the world a better place. Dilbert: How does that square with our stated goal of destroying our competition? If we succeed, those people will be out of jobs. After we annihilate our competition, we can jack up our prices to monopoly levels and take advantage of our customers. Most of our profits go toward making the rich richer. We don't even pay taxes. Meanwhile, my co-workers and I will be living a life that has been stripped of all meaning. Is that what you had in mind by "Making the world a better place?" CEO: I didn't mean better for everyone.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #workload, #work ethic, #laziness, #teamwork, #team, #philosophy, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I don't know how you are stress-free when we have so much work to do. Wally: It's all about understanding percentages. No matter how hard you work, you will never finish even two percent of what needs to be done. The financial rewards of doing two percent of your work are identical to doing none. It's also a good idea to volunteer for several projects so everyone thinks you're working on the other ones. Your problem is that you're doing actual work for no good reason. Dilbert: My problem is that I'm doing your work plus my work! Wally: It's only two percent more work, you whiner.