Face Front Comic Strips - Page 21
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721 Results for Face Front
View 201 - 210 results for face front comic strips. Discover the best "Face Front" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday February 04,
1995
Tags assignments by priority, won't waste time, unimportant stuff, a priority, personal life, must do, b priorities
Transcript
The Boss stands in front of Dilbert who is seated at his desk. The Boss hands Dilbert a document and says, "I ranked all of your assignments by priority so you won't waste time on unimportant stuff." Dilbert reads the document and says, "Everything is an 'A' priority except for 'Personal life.'" Dilbert says, "this helps a lot." The Boss says, "I'm still working on the list of 'Must do' 'B' priorities."
Monday February 06,
1995
Tags ethical question, telecommuting, owe employer, saving planet, not driving, meeting, business
Transcript
Dogbert sits at Dilbert's desk at home. Dilbert stands in front of the desk holding a cup of coffee and dressed in a bathrobe. Dilbert says, "I have an ethical question about telecommuting, Dogbert." Dilbert continues, "Do I owe my employer eight productive hours, or do I only need to match the two productive hours I would have in the office?" Dilbert and Dogbert sit on the desk chair together. Dogbert answers, "Well, when you factor in how you're saving the planet by not driving, you only owe one hour." Dilbert adds, "And this meeting counts."
Thursday February 09,
1995
Tags fourth day, telecommuting, clothes useless, struck by question, monkeys, beards, discuss issue, attendance low, around table, introduce
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk at home. He is naked. He types in his daily log, "On my forth day of telecommuting I realize that clothes are totally unnecessary." Dilbert strokes his unshaven face and thinks, "Hey!" The log reads, "Suddenly I am struck by a question: why don't monkeys grow beards?" The log reads, "I call a meeting to discuss the issue but attendance is low." Dilbert sits at a conference table with Ratbert. Dilbert reads from a document, "Issue one: monkey beards." Ratbert says, "Let's go around the table and introduce ourselves."
Thursday February 23,
1995
Tags perfromance appraisel, four years, starting documentation, fire me later, 24 hours aday, motivational
Transcript
The Boss stands behind Alice's desk and says, "Alice, I'm almost done with your performance appraisal." Alice looks horrified and gasps. Alice turns her chair to face the Boss and says, "I haven't had an appraisal in four years. You must be starting a documentation trail so you can fire me later." Alice types wildly and yells, "I'LL WORK 24 HOURS A DAY!!" The Boss thinks, "That was way more motivational than I'd hoped."
Monday March 06,
1995
Tags week behind, poor leadership, drained, parents, accept some resposibility, creating you, parents drunk
Transcript
The Boss enters Dilbert's cubicle and asks, "Can you explain why you're a week behind schedule?" Dilbert turns to face the Boss and says, "Your poor leadership has drained me of the enthusiasm that is necessary to succeed. But it's not completely YOUR fault." Dilbert continues, "Frankly, your parents have to accept some responsibility for creating you." The Boss asks, "Even if they were drunk?"
Wednesday March 08,
1995
Tags twice as afst, doubling staff, coded modules, mouse not a mic, boss understands now, pa system
Transcript
The Boss peers into Dilbert's cubicle and asks, "Are you working twice as fast since I doubled your staff?" Dilbert sits at his desk with Barry. He answers, "I've coded twelve modules . . . Barry is on a journey of discovery where he will find out my mouse is not a microphone." Speaking into the mouse, Barry says, "Hello! Anybody!" Back in his office, the Boss sits in front of the computer contemplating his mouse. He says, "That would explain why nobody ever comments on my announcements over the P.A. system."
Friday March 17,
1995
Tags destroying prodcutivity, hire contract employees, constractors, humilaition
Transcript
Dogbert sits at the Boss's desk. Dilbert and Alice stand in front of him. Dilbert says, "The rumors are destroying our productivity. We can't work with all this uncertainty." Dogbert answers, "I plan to buy proven technology and hire contract employees. You'll be gophers for the contractors until you resign in disgust and humiliation." Dilbert and Alice look scared. Dilbert asks, "Is there any way to get back to uncertainty?" Dogbert answers, "I'll see what I can do."
Saturday March 18,
1995
Tags own company, Dogbert, trim middle management, fire anyone, fyi on documents, fyi files in barrel
Transcript
Dilbert and Wally stand in front of Dogbert who is sitting at a desk. Dilbert asks Dogbert, "Now that you own the company, what do you plan to do?" Dogbert answers, "Trim middle management." Dogbert continues, "I'll fire anybody who gives me a document marked 'FYI.' Those people have too much time on their hands." A manager carrying a wheelbarrow full of documents marked "FYI" asks Dilbert and Wally, "Are you sure this will set me apart from the other managers?" Wally replies, "You'll be surprised how quickly."
Wednesday April 12,
1995
Tags pundits, press, keyboard with no q, public relations, fiasco, engineering solution, graphics program, semi colon
Transcript
Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk, reading a newspaper. Dilbert says, "The pundits in the press are nailing us for shipping a keyboard with no 'Q.'" Dilbert continues, "It's a public-relations fiasco. Obviously, we need an engineering solution. I'm on the case." Dilbert and Wally sit at a table. Dilbert says, "Users could use a graphics program to draw a 'Q' in the unlikely event that they need one." Wally says, "Or we could replace the semi-colon; nobody uses them."
Saturday April 15,
1995
Tags stick to script, act sincere, forgive you, worng, sell key boards, morons, dumber than squirrels, good writing
Transcript
The Boss stands in front of a camera and Dogbert sits in a director's chair. Dogbert hands the Boss a script and says, "Stick to the script. Act sincere and beg your customers to forgive you." The Boss looks into the camera and reads, "It was wrong for us to sell keyboards with no 'Q.' We're sorry. We're morons." Dilbert and Dogbert sit on the couch watching the Boss's television commercial. In the advertisement, the Boss says, "We're dumber than squirrels. We hear voices and do what they command. I have broccoli in my socks." Dilbert says, "Good writing." Dogbert responds, "Thanks."


