Friday Meetings Comic Strips - Page 21

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254 Results for Friday Meetings

View 201 - 210 results for friday meetings comic strips. Discover the best "Friday Meetings" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #demands, #bosses, #unrealistic, #frustration, #outburst, #catch-22, #travel, #air travel

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Boss: Carol, move my flight one hour earlier Friday. Carol: Do you have any idea how hard that would be? I know it sounds easy, but it won't be. Not at this late date. Not with all your pickiness. When I fail, you will think I didn't look hard enough for a new flight. I can't prove a negative, so I will forever suffer your disdain. My career is ruined. Boss: Never mind! Forget it! Why is it so hard to ask you to do anything? Carol: I've been telling people you're stupid, but I'm open to other theories.

Boss Gets Message From Identity Thief

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Boss Gets Message From Identity Thief  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #identity theft, #internet, #racism, #reputation, #guest artist, #joel friday, #technology

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Boss: They guy who stole my identity just sent me an email. He says, "Stop making racist comments on the internet. You're ruining my reputation." Ha! Take that! Carol: You always said it would pay off someday.

The Elbonian Religion

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The Elbonian Religion - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #culture, #customs, #killing, #law, #offense, #Religion, #guest artist, #joel friday

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Dilbert: Do you Elbonians have a religion? Elbonian: Of course we do! We're not savages! We believe in killing anyone who offends us three times in a row. Dilbert: Harsh. Elbonian: That's two.

Rat With An Ear On His Back

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Rat With An Ear On His Back - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #biology, #experiment, #human tissue, #lab, #rat, #regeneration, #science, #technology, #guest artist, #joel friday

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Tablet: Scientists grew a human ear on the back of a rat. When asked for a comment, the rat said, "Hey, get this ear off my back. I didn't agree to this." The lead scientist on the project said, "Great. Now you made it all weird."

Boss Uses His Gut

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Boss Uses His Gut - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #gut, #instinct, #decision, #deciding, #logic, #stomach, #mouth, #guest artist, #joel friday

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Boss: Your analysis does not conform to my preconceived notions. So my gut instinct is telling me that you are wrong. Dilbert: When your gut talks to you, what does it use for a mouth?

Simplify The Slide

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Simplify The Slide - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #intelligence, #insult, #smart, #dumb, #powerpoint, #guest artist, #joel friday

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Boss: You need to simplify that slide. Dilbert: Did you understand it? Boss: Yes. Dilbert: Then why do you think smart people will be confused? Boss: I can't tell if that was an insult. Dilbert: Ask a smart person.

When Wally Will Be Finished

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When Wally Will Be Finished - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #soon, #deadline, #procrastination, #standoff

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Woman: Can you get that done by Friday? Wally: I'll get back to you on that. Woman: When will you get back to me? Wally: Soon. Woman: How soon? Wally: I can do this all day.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating, #overanalyzing, #asking out, #relationships

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Woman: Do you want to go to dinner and a movie with me on Friday? Dilbert: That plan is poorly conceived. The best time to watch a movie is also the best time to eat. And what are the odds we want to see the same movie? You're a picky eater, so it would be a nightmare to decide where we both want to eat. One of us would have to compromise, and I assume it would be me. I'm offended by your offer to suboptimize my Friday experience. Woman: Do you have a better option? Dilbert: Nope. See you Friday.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #time, #time management

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Dilbert: You asked for a breakdown of what I did this month. I wasted 25 percent of my time in useless meetings. I spent 33 percent of my time listening to co-workers complain about other co-workers. I used 11 percent to resend files I already sent. 14 percent went to dealing with a rumor you started by accident. 16 percent went toward working on the wrong things because you communicate poorly. Boss: What did you do with the 1 percent that was left? Dilbert: You just experienced it.

God Helps Those Who Help Themselves

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God Helps Those Who Help Themselves - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #help, #assistance, #sayings, #adage, #divine intervention, #laziness

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Man: Can you get me that data by Friday? Wally: They say "God helps those who help themselves." Man: So... you won't help? Wally: I'm waiting for you to go first. Man: And then you'll help? Wally: No, the order is you, then God, then me.