Reduce Wear And Tear Comic Strips - Page 21

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212 Results for Reduce Wear And Tear

View 201 - 210 results for reduce wear and tear comic strips. Discover the best "Reduce Wear And Tear" comics from Dilbert.com.

Stopping Theft Everywhere

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Stopping Theft Everywhere - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, business, technology, system, reduce, theft, dumb, product

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dilbert: and by using this system, we will drastically reduce theft. co-worker: that's the dumbest think i have ever heard. no one can stop theft everywhere in the world. dilbert: i said we would reduce it, not eliminate it. and only for our own products. co-worker: so, in other words, it won't work. dilbert: it works to reduce theft. co-worker: but you admit there will be theft. dilbert standing and yelling: what is wrong with you???? co-worker: hey, i'm not the one who is in favor of theft.

Great Idea

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Great Idea - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, idea, office workers, sarcasm, trick, truth, evidence

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Boss: I have a great idea. Let's create a google document that we can all update. Dilbert: That is exactly the idea I suggested to you yesterday. Boss: You can't prove that. Dilbert: That was only true until I learned to wear a wire.

Wally Must Say Something

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Wally Must Say Something   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, technology, meeting, attention, confused, face mask, follow-up, questions, project, employee, engagement, business

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wally thinking: i need to say something to show i'm paying attention. wally: i'm concerned that the project could reduce employee engagement. boss: what does that even mean? wally thinking: i wasn't expecting follow-up questions.

Ratio Is Too High

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Ratio Is Too High - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, expense, budget, capital, ratio, too high, afford, standards, historical, irrelevant, manage, department

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boss: we need to reduce our expense budget to 40% of our capital budget. dilbert: why do we need to do that? boss: because the ratio is too high. dilbert: are you saying we can't afford it? boss: no. i'm saying the ratio is too high. dilbert: okay, but by what standard is it "too high"? boss: by historical standards, it has never been this high. dilbert: i don't think we want to start using an irrelevant ratio to manage the department. boss: to be fair, this is just the first time you noticed.

No More Id Badges

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No More Id Badges    - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, business, employment, i.d. badge, employees, freedom, tattoo, sarcasm, face mask

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boss: the company is considering no longer requiring employees to wear i.d. badges. asok yelling: yes! freedom! dilbert: too too. hold... hold... boss: ...in favor of permanent forehead tattoos. dilbert: always wait for the second part.

Betting On Management

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 Betting On Management  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags covid-19, business, technology, confidence, management, infection, coronavirus, bet, stupidity, income, betting, health

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dilbert: does it reduce your confidence in our management that 100% of them got infected with coronavirus. wally: all i know is that i won $300 betting it would happen. dilbert: how often do you bet on their stupidity? wally: often enough to double my income.

Golden Age For Wally

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Golden Age For Wally - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags 6 feet, avoid, coffee, eye contact, face mask, grocery shopping, office workers, social distancing, upgrade, Women

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wally at coffee pot talking to Dilbert:: social distancing has been a great upgrade to my life. in the old days, women avoided me by at least ten feet. now i often get within seven. i think it's because i'm better-looking with most of my face covered. especially if i wear a hat and sunglasses. and i learned that women will talk to me if i walk the wrong way down a grocery aisle. they're usually complaining but at least they make eye contact. it's sort of a golden age for people like me.

Climate Change And Wally

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Climate Change And Wally - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, late, attendance, alarm, power, phone, coal power plant, climate change

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wally to boss and dilbert: sorry i'm late. my alarm didn't go off because my town lost power and my phone battery died. and we lost power because the state closed down the lost coal power plant to reduce co2 emissions. so really, the fault lies with climate change, not me. dilbert: (slow clap)

Cut Pay For No Commute

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Cut Pay For No Commute - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, video call, commute, employment, wages, reduce, pocket, stealing, prison, innocent, laptop, coffee

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dilbert and boss on video call. boss: i've decided to reduce your pay because you no longer commute. when you pocket those savings, it is as if you are stealing from the company. dilbert: actually, it isn't like that at all. boss: everyone in prison says they're innocent too.

Workplace Injuries

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Workplace Injuries - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, meeting, video call, workplace, injury, reduce, work from home, security, guard, hurt, back, steal, office equipment

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boss on video call. boss: i'm proud to announce we reduced workplace injuries by 76% this past year. voice from laptop: we all worked from home this year. shouldn't we have seen a 100% reduction? boss: our security guard kept hurting his back stealing office equipment.