Ultimate Pick Up Line Comic Strips - Page 21

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

226 Results for Ultimate Pick Up Line

View 201 - 210 results for ultimate pick up line comic strips. Discover the best "Ultimate Pick Up Line" comics from Dilbert.com.

Attendance Strategy

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Attendance Strategy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work ethic, #laziness, #deception, #attendance, #Advice, #mentor, #mentoring

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Ideally, you want to find a job that requires more attendance than work. And then you want to concoct an endless string of "reasons" you can't come to work. The ultimate goal is getting paid for being nothing but a concept. Asok: I bask in your wisdom.

The World Always Needs Bankers

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
The World Always Needs Bankers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #banking, #big business, #college, #crime, #debt, #future, #hope, #job, #money, #robot, #robots, #stealing, #business, #education

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: My son is trying to pick a major for college. Do you have any advice? Dilbert: Well, it will take him fifteen years to pay off his student loans, but most jobs will be replaced by robots in ten. But the world always needs bankers. Carol: We're trying to steer him away from crime.

Wally Pays It Not Forward

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Pays It Not Forward - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #philosophy, #life lesson, #gratitude

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Do you have a philosophy for life? Wally: I try to make the world a better place. Have you heard the phrase, "Pay it forward?" Asok: Yes. Wally: I'm the end of the line for that sequence of events. It saves the rest of you a lot of work.

Why Didn't You Tell Me Sooner

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Why Didn't You Tell Me Sooner - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #paradox, #debate, #arguing

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Why didn't you tell me about this sooner? Dilbert: That's a fool's game because Zeno's Paradox says there will always be a time sooner than the one I pick. Alice's Paradox says that no matter how many criticisms you explain away, there are always plenty more.

Exploding Phones

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Exploding Phones - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bomb, #cell phone, #samsung, #fire, #explosion, #competition, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: We're getting bad press because the batteries in our new line of mobile phones keep exploding. Boss: Load them into a big truck and park it in front of our competitor's building. Dilbert: Technically, that would be domestic terrorism. Boss: There are way too many laws.

Cartoonist Says Something Bad On Social Media Real

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Cartoonist Says Something Bad On Social Media Real - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineers, #sociopath, #pathology, #hit man, #murder, #killing, #morals, #emotions

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: The famous cartoonist we hired to be our spokesperson said something bad on social media. Boss: Oh no. How bad is it? CEO: Our board voted to kill him. Do you know any sociopaths? Boss: I'm head of Engineering. CEO: Good point. Pick any one of them.

Who Wants The Legacy System Job

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Who Wants The Legacy System Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #legacy, #underachiever, #volunteer

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm assigning our best and brightest engineers to the new system integration team. Anyone who is left over gets to be in charge of watching our legacy system slowly rot. Dilbert: Who would want that job? Wally: Me!!! Pick me!!!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conversation, #delay, #frustration, #interpersonal communication

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Do you know how to clean up line noise on an XLR connection? Man: No but I can show you how to do something different. Dilbert: Why would I want to see something different? Man: Because it reminds me of what you want to do. Dilbert: I don't need to see that. Man It will only take ten minutes. Dilbert: I don't have ten minutes. It never takes only ten minutes, and it isn't relevant to my situation. Man: I'm going to show you anyway because you're too polite to walk away while I'm talking. Narrator: Thirty minutes later. Dilbert: Something is wrong with you. Man: Now watch me do it left-handed!

Tina Has Phone Anxiety

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tina Has Phone Anxiety - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cell phone, #boredom, #time, #killing time, #anxiety, #addiction, #distraction, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: I'm having a lot of anxiety because my mobile phone is broken. What happens if I need to stand in line for something? What would I do while I waited? Dilbert: You need an invisible friend. Tina: I have one, but she's always on her phone.

Why Did The Algorithm Bump Dilbert

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Why Did The Algorithm Bump Dilbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #airlines, #air travel, #flight, #overbooking, #customer service

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Why did your algorithm pick me to be bumped from the full flight? Is it because I had the lowest-cost ticket? Agent: It was that plus your lack of upper body strength.