Ask Comic Strips - Page 21
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413 Results for Ask
View 201 - 210 results for ask comic strips. Discover the best "Ask" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday June 22,
2008
Tags retirement plans, for losers, winners keep jobs, no stress, free coffee, cost estimates, worthless leech
Transcript
Asok says, "Wally, what do you plan to do after you retire?" Wally says, "Retirement is for losers, Asok." Wally says, "Winners keep their jobs but stop caring about the quality of their work." Wally says, "I have no stress, free coffee, and I get paid, too." Wally says, "Watch how this works." Ted says, "Wally, can you give me some cost estimates for my project?" Wally says, "I'm too busy. Ask Dilbert." Asok says, "Doesn't this make you a worthless leech on society?" Wally says, "I'm pretty sure the winner in that example is the leech."
Saturday May 17,
2008
Tags admits assignment, career, dinner party, small talk, woman asks, total losers, blame, coworkers
Transcript
woman: Before I get too invested in this conversation, tell me what you do for a living. Dilbert: I'm one of three people my boss asked to do the same assignment because he deems all of us unreliable. woman: This is why I ask. Dilbert: The other two people are total losers.
Friday May 16,
2008
Tags approved vendor list, boss, no one relaible, reliable
Transcript
Dilbert: Do you have the approved vendor list?" Secretary: Hmmm, Alice and Asok asked for that list too Are you one of three people assigned to the same project because your boss believes none of you are reliable?" " Dilbert: Maybe. Secretay: Hmmm, and you're the last one to ask for the list.
Wednesday May 14,
2008
Tags out of touch, feeling, the boss, secratry, favor, takes personal day, intern
Transcript
The Boss: Where are those copies I asked you to make? Asok: I delegated that task to Carol. Carol: This seems like a good time to take a personal half-day. ask: I have a good feeling about this."
Monday April 07,
2008
Tags capital cost, estimates, clarify, ruin the system
Transcript
Wally, do yuo have the capital cost estimates I asked for last week? Wally: No, I always ask you to clarify what you need. You say you'll get back to me but you never do. The Boss: Maybe I could clarify it now. Wally: That would ruin my system.
Thursday February 07,
2008
Tags boss, distraction, meeting, move, office, phone ring, rug catch fire, business
Transcript
Dilbert: I'm here to go through the motions of trying to ask you a question. But we both know your phone will ring, or you'll be late for a meeting, or the carpet will catch on fire before I ask the question. It's a short question, so get ready to make your move."
Friday December 07,
2007
Tags ask the intern, died, moon shuttle, sample of dna, jar, reincarnate to clone, jar missing, needed for candy
Transcript
The Boss: "I am sad to report that Asok the intern died during a test of our moon shuttle prototype." "Before he left, he put a sample of his DNA in a jar. His plan is to reincarnate into his own clone." "Where's the jar with Asok's DNA?" Carol: "I needed a second candy jar."
Sunday December 02,
2007
Tags coworkers, cubicles, question, busy, promise of speed, five seconds, name calling, no time, disrespect, no help
Transcript
Tina; "Do you have a minute?" Dilbert: "No." Tina: "This will just take a second." Dilbert: "No it won't." Tina: "It's real quick." Dilbert: Never is. Tina: "You have my word that it will take no longer than five seconds." Dilbert: "Okay. Go." Tina: "Oh, good. So, I was walking by and I thought maybe I should stop and ask you something because..." Dilbert: "Time's up." Tina: "Jerk" Dilbert: "Liar."
Sunday November 04,
2007
Tags sales questions, vice presdient, talk to boss, questions, confusion, chaos, time management
Transcript
Wally: "Where do you think you're going?" Asok: "I need to ask our VP of sales a question." Wally: "Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!" "You can't speak directly with a vice president." "You need to talk to your boss, who talks to his boss, who talks to someone who is friends with the VP of sales, who then talks to him." Asok: "Wouldn't that virtually guarantee that the wrong question gets asked?" Wally: "It's better to have the right person ask the wrong question than the wrong person ask the right questions." Asok: "Do you have a minute?" The Boss: "Talk to my secretary."
Sunday October 21,
2007
Tags help alice, argument, team work, control killing
Transcript
Wally: My accomplishment this week was helping Alice finish her project in a timely manner." Alice: "You didn't do anything to help me." Wally: "Sure I did." "Remember when I came to your cubicle to ask for some data I need for my project?" "You said you were too busy, and shooed me away." Alice: "If I had insisted on doing my job, you would have had less time to do yours." Wally: "It's called teamwork." "Are we still big on that?" Alice: "Must control...First...Of...Death."


