Customer Service Comic Strips - Page 21

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306 Results for Customer Service

View 201 - 210 results for customer service comic strips. Discover the best "Customer Service" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 03, 2001's comic on:


Tags #start on monday, #service industry, #space -time, #contiuum, #calendar, #no mondays

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Dilbert stands at a table reviewing a sheet of paper with a contractor. The contractor says, "Here's my estimate. I'll start the job on Monday." The contractor continues, "When I say 'Monday,' I'm referring to the service industry's space-time continuum." The contractor holds out a calendar and says, "I'm not supposed to show you this, but check out the calendar." Dilbert looks and says, "No Mondays."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 14, 2001's comic on:


Tags #boss friend, #hot in here, #huge cutomer, #sales people, #secretary, #childhood friend

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The Boss approaches Carol's desk and tells her, "Carol, screen all my calls and don't let any salespeople through." Carol answers the phone and a voice says, "Hello, I'm a huge customer or perhaps a childhood friend of your boss." Carol replies, "Give me some flirting and you're in." The voice says, "Is it hot in here or is it just you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 08, 2001's comic on:


Tags #impersonate dead customer, #large purchases, #work, #acting

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The Boss hands a black briefcase to Wally. He says, "You'll impersonate our dead customer and make large purchases from us." Wally looks down at the briefcase and says, "I've never done anything like this before." The Boss replies, "It's called 'work.'" Wally walks away, continuing to hold the briefcase. He asks, "Am I doing it right?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 07, 2001's comic on:


Tags #threw computer, #off roof, #killed customer, #replace, #look a like, #worker, #clones, #coverup

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The Boss, Wally and Alice are sitting at a conference table. The Boss says "Someone threw a computer off the roof and killed our biggest customer." Alice appears shocked. The Boss continues, "We plan to replace him with a lookalike who will continue buying from us." The Boss holds up a picture of Wally. Wally says, "Hey, that's Willy from the club of people who look exactly like me."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 28, 2001's comic on:


Tags #always right, #arrogance, #management training, #punished, #two rules, #customer

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MANAGEMENT TRAINING: Dogbert says, "There are two essential rules of management." The Management Training class, with Alice sitting in the front row, listens as Dogbert continues, "One: The customer is always right." Dogbert continues, "Two: They must be punished for their arrogance!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 25, 2001's comic on:


Tags #achieve goal, #analyze incoming email, #automate, #excellent plan, #online tech, #software, #throw rocks, #useful repsonse, #wear ski masks, #sarcas, #supportiveness, #engineering

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The Boss says to Dilbert, "I have an idea!" The Boss continues, "We'll automate our online tech support." The Boss says to Dilbert, "Our software will analyze incoming e-mail and send responses based on key words!" Dilbert, his tie flying up, says to The Boss, "That's an excellent plan." The Boss responds, "I know." Dilbert says, "But what about the one percent of our customers who actually get a useful response?" Dilbert says to The Boss, "Maybe we could wear ski masks and throw rocks at their houses." Dilbert says, "Then we could achieve our goal of 100% customer dissatisfaction! Whoo hoo!" Dilbert throws his arms up in the air as The Boss watches him. Dilbert thinks to himself, "Maybe I should work someplace where sarcasm and supportiveness are different things."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 02, 2001's comic on:


Tags #83% spat, #customer satisfaction survey, #the lucky ones, #died of dehydration, #results of survey

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A female employee says to The Boss and Wally, "The results of our customer satisfaction survey are in." The female employee says, "83% spat at their telephones until they died of dehydration." Asok the Intern, The Boss and Wally listen as the female employee continues, "We're calling that group 'The Lucky Ones'."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 01, 2001's comic on:


Tags #elboninan fullfillment, #service, #thwart, #300 times, #string phones, #mud pile, #pig, #laughing, #animals

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Two Elbonians each have a tin can with string held up to their ears. One Elbonian says, "This is the Elbonian Fulfillment Service. How may I thwart you?" The Elbonians continue listening to their tin cans. One Elbonian hears, "Grunt grunt grunt grunt grunt." The Elbonian holds his tin can away from his ear and says to the pig, "Okay, it wasn't funny the first 300 times either."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 27, 2001's comic on:


Tags #discount brokerage, #free investment, #money, #paid for advice

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DISCOUNT BROKERAGE: A customer is sitting across the desk from Dogbert. The customer asks, "Can you give me free investment advice?" Dogbert replies, "Sure." Dogbert yells at the customer, "Give me all of your money now now now!!" The customer asks, "What if I paid sor some advice?" Dogbert says, "It's the same except my ears don't flip up in a threatening manner."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 24, 2001's comic on:


Tags #discount brokerage, #open an account, #money eveaporates, #photo synthesis, #yes haw

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DISCOUNT BROKERAGE: Dogbert says to a prospective customer, "You can only open an account if you meet my stringent requirements." Dogbert says, "True or false: Money evaporates because of photo-synthesis." The prospective customer replies, "True?" Dogbert says, "You're in." The customer thinks, "Don't yell yee-haw!"