How Much Slack? Comic Strips - Page 21

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View 201 - 210 results for how much slack? comic strips. Discover the best "How Much Slack?" comics from Dilbert.com.

Being More Nimble

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Being More Nimble - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #business, #decision, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #sarcasm

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Boss: We need to be more innovative and more nimble. That's why I created a task force to consider forming a project team to write a white paper on how to start. Dilbert: Maybe they can fix you first. Boss: You can't fix perfect.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #career, #employees, #office, #office workers, #training, #trick, #sabatoge

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Boss: Wally will train you for your new job. You'll need to figure out how much of what he says is real training and how much is career sabotage. Man: Career sabotage? Boss: Employees don't like competition. Only the top 20% get bonuses. They'll do what they can to keep you out of that group. Man: I assume you're exaggerating. Boss: You'll see. Wally: Has anyone told you about no-pants Fridays?

Teach Employees To Code

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Teach Employees To Code - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #computers, #engineering, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #teaching, #smart

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Boss: The job market is so tight we can't find any programmers. So I want you to teach some of our employees how to code. Dilbert: You mean the smart ones, I hope. Boss: No, we need the smart ones in their current jobs.

Bitter Losers

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Bitter Losers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #idea, #lying, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #Promotion

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Boss: I'm promoting Ted for coming up with a genius idea to reduce our software expenses. Dilbert: That was actually my idea. All Ted did was tell you it was his idea. Boss: How do you put up with these bitter losers? Ted: The promotion helps.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #engineering, #frustration, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #work, #schedule

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Dilbert: I finished coding the new feature. Boss: What took you so long? Dilbert: It took as long as it needed to take. Boss: You're behind schedule. Dilbert: I'm not the one who created the schedule! That was you!!! Maybe you should fire yourself for being so bad at making schedules. Boss: That's not how it works! Dilbert: What does that even mean? Boss: They're starting to catch on that most of what I say doesn't mean anything.

Complaining About Ted

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Complaining About Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #complaining, #computer software, #engineering, #office, #office workers

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Dilbert: I took over Ted's software project. Everything he did was inefficient and stupid. Okay, we're done here. I'm checking you off my list. Alice: How many people are you complaining to? Dilbert: I trimmed the list to three hundred.

Making Your Boss Look Good

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Making Your Boss Look Good - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #criticism, #ego, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #responsibility

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Boss: You did this wrong. Dilbert: That's how you trained me to do it. Bob: You need to learn to take responsibility for my mistakes. It's called "making your boss look good". Dilbert: Maybe you could help a little too.

Tons Of Experience

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Tons Of Experience - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #business, #employment, #interviews, #lying, #managers & supervisors, #experience

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Boss: We only hire people who have experience. Man: How can I get experience if no one wants to hire inexperienced people? Boss: We do hire liars. Man: Oh, good. I have tons of experience.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #customer, #meeting, #engineers, #years, #disasters, #worry, #data, #centers, #blockchain

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Dilbert: Can I go with you to the customer meeting? I'm worried you might promise something we can't deliver. The Boss: Don't be ridiculous! I've been having customer meetings without engineers for years. Dilbert: I know and they all turn into disasters. The Boss: You worry too much! Everything will be fine! Man: Can you replace our data centers with blockchain? The Boss: Give us two days.

Ceo Wants A Crypto Wallet

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Ceo Wants A Crypto Wallet - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ceo, #Wally, #crypto, #cryptocurrency, #game, #private key, #password, #done, #care

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CEO: How do I get a crypto wallet so I can get into the cryptocurrency game? Wally: I'll set one up for you and give you the private key and password when I'm done. CEO: I don't know how to thank you. Wally: That'll take care of itself.