New Employee Comic Strips - Page 21
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1000 Results for New Employee
View 201 - 210 results for new employee comic strips. Discover the best "New Employee" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday July 08,
2017
Immersive Vr Employee Quits
Tags virtual reality, civil rights, discrimination, artificial intelligence, rights
Transcript
Boss: Our immersive VR employee quit. He's suing the company for discriminating against digitally rendered people. Catbert: Is it too late to kill him? Boss: I tried, but he cloned himself to cloud storage.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Friday July 07,
2017
Attending A Meeting For Kevin
Tags virtual reality, sexual harrassment, real, fantasy, imagination
Transcript
Boss: Can you attend a meeting for Kevin, our new immersive VR employee? Dilbert: Why can't Kevin do it? Boss: Alice needed him for something. Alice: Good. Now do it again, but without your shirt. Kevin: I'm not comfortable with this.
Thursday July 06,
2017
Asok Can't Take Immersive Vr Seat
Tags virtual reality, vr, reality, physical, illusion
Transcript
Boss: That seat is taken by Kevin, our new immersive VR employee. Asok: But... I'm a physical person. Boss: Did you just insult Kevin's corporeal identity? Asok: I don't see how that's a problem. Kevin: I can't work in this hostile environment.
Wednesday July 05,
2017
Immersive Vr Is Immortal
Tags virtual reality, vr, mortality, immortal, human, ai, artificial intelligence
Transcript
Narrator: Kevin, the immersive VR employee. Dilbert: I have to keep reminding myself that you don't really exist. Kevin: I have to keep reminding myself that your organic personality was long ago replaced with prescription medications. Dilbert: At least I'm real! Kevin: At least I'm immortal. Tick-tock. Tick-tock.
Tuesday July 04,
2017
Immersive Vr Employee Is Creepy
Tags reality, virtual reality, vr, sanity, hallucination, fantasy, imagination, therapy, psychology
Transcript
Dilbert: We hired an immersive VR employee and it's freaking me out. I can only see him when I wear my VR goggles. I feel as if he's always watching me. Doctor: Sounds like you're crazy. I can fix that with a prescription cocktail that will turn you into an entirely new person. Kevin: Run.
Monday July 03,
2017
H Ired An Immersive Vr Employee
Tags virtual reality, vr, invisibility, privacy
Transcript
Boss: I hired an immersive VR employee named Kevin. You can only see him when you wear the VR headset. Dilbert: Um... Kevin, please stop doing that. Kevin: Oops. Sorry. I didn't think anyone could see me.
Wednesday June 28,
2017
Two Choices For Work Space
Tags office, office workers, cubicle, distraction, work from home
Transcript
Boss: We're trying to decide if it's better to have an open office plan with too many distractions to be productive... or soul-crushing cubicles that will make every employee envy the dead. Dilbert: Maybe everyone can just work from home? Boss: And miss all of this?
Tuesday June 27,
2017
Boss Wants Private Office
Tags cubicle, office, office workers, privacy, open office
Transcript
Boss: The employees are complaining because our new open office plan has too many distractions. CEO: You want to go back to cubicles? Boss: No, I just need a private so I can't hear them complaining.
Monday June 05,
2017
Dilbert's Project Is Unfunded
Sunday May 28,
2017
Transcript
Man: I can't figure out what is wrong with my code. Dilbert: Try rubber ducking it. Man: What? Dilbert: Rubber ducking is when you solve your coding problem by explaining it to a toy rubber duck. When you explain a problem to someone else, it forces you to look at it from new angles. Man: I can't tell if that is a brilliant idea or a practical joke. Dilbert: Ask your boss. Man: Okay, is rubber ducking a brilliant idea or a practical joke. Boss: It's a brilliant idea. I get most of my management ideas by talking to an imaginary rhesus monkey. Dilbert: I think you muddied the waters there a little bit.


