Nose Job Comic Strips - Page 21

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991 Results for Nose Job

View 201 - 210 results for nose job comic strips. Discover the best "Nose Job" comics from Dilbert.com.

Ceo Returns From The Afterlife

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Ceo Returns From The Afterlife - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags afterlife, angel, ceos, demon, evil, executives, good, good vs. evil, returning from the dead

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CEO: I returned from the afterlife and I'm taking back my job as CEO. Dilbert: So... you're an angel? CEO: I set all of the thermostats to 140 degrees. Let's see how long it takes you to answer your own question.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags deception, job, laziness, strategic thinker, strategy, work ethic, worker bee, attend meetings, strategic, no work, business

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Wally: Can I create my own job? I hear people do that. They figure out what they are good at and then they create a job around it. I'm more of a strategic thinker than a worker bee. My job could be to attend meetings and say strategic things. And, of course, I would have no time to respond to email because I'd be busy being strategic. Boss: It feels as if you want a job that doesn't involve work. Wally: Would you trust a strategic thinker who can't solve his own problems?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags arguing, job, job description, managers, manipulation, taking advantage, task, whiney quitter, resourceful entrepreneur, personal growth, outside the box, key to greatness, assigning wrong people, mow lawn, business

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Dilbert: That isn't in my job description. Boss: What?! You should never tell your boss that a task isn't in your job description! It makes you sound like a whiney quitter instead of a resourceful entrepreneur. And don't forget all the personal growth that comes from taking on new challenges. Think outside the box. That is the key to greatness. Dilbert: So, according to you, the best way to achieve greatness is by assigning the wrong people to tasks? Are there any other dumb things I need to do to achieve greatness or is one thing enough? Catbert: Did you find someone to mow your lawn yet? Boss: Almost. He's putting up a fight.

Fierce Employees Wanted

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Fierce Employees Wanted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags anger, confusion, ferocity, fierce, hiring, interview, job application, job interview

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Boss: We're looking for employees who are fierce! Applicant: Should I punch you or something? I don't know how to play this. Boss: Try acting normal, but angrier.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags coaching, deception, laziness, mentor, mentoring, strategy, work ethic, taper, key to winning, new job, long hours, good first impression, taker off, working smarter

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Wally: Asok, the key to winning at your job is the taper. Asok: Taper? Wally: At the start of any new job, you want to put in long hours and create a good first impression. Then you should start to gradually taper off your effort. But be sure you taper slowly. You don't want to be obvious. Boss: Wally, is it my imagination, or are you working slightly less every day? Wally: It only looks that way because I'm working smarter, not harder. Just the way you taught me. Boss: Okay, that sounds right. Wally: Always keep that round in the chamber. Asok: You scare me, but in a good way.

Single Dilbert Is Valuable

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Single Dilbert Is Valuable - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags competition, dating, low standards, Men, market value, single guy, low bar, tall, employed, height, relationships

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Dilbert: I'm starting to realize that my market value as a single guy is higher than I thought. Men such as you have set the bar so low that all I need to do is have a job and be taller than most women in heels. I thought they were turned on by my tube clothing, but they actually like me for me. Wally: You're welcome.

Dilbert Meets The Mom

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Dilbert Meets The Mom - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dating, low standards, meeting people, parents, mother, efficiency, ebola, shake hands, Family, relationships

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Woman: Mom, this my date, Dilbert. He only wears tube clothes. Dilbert: For the efficiency. Whoa! Before I touch that paw, have you been to any Ebola hot spots lately? Woman: He has a job. Dilbert: My time has come!

Tube Clothing At The Bar

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Tube Clothing At The Bar - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags clothing, dating, jobs, low standards, tube clothes, values substance, employment, relationships

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Dilbert: I noticed you eyeing my tube clothes. You're thinking I am a man who values substance over style and it turns you on. Woman: No, I'm thinking I'll date anything that has a job. Dilbert: I have one of those!

Dilbert Does Online Dating

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Dilbert Does Online Dating - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dating, internet dating, low standards, online dating, triple threat, six feet tall, hair, height, job, business, relationships

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Dilbert: I got 9,752 responses on this dating site and I haven't even completed my profile. All I said is that I'm six feet tall, I have hair and a job. Meanwhile, everywhere: Women: Hair... height... job! Triple threat!

Carol Has Passion For Her Job

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Carol Has Passion For Her Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Advice, boredom, boring, email, fake passion, forwarded email, mindless, passion, success, warren buffet, work ethic

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Carol: Warren Buffett says my career will be better if I show passion for my job. I'll have to fake the passion because everything I do in this job is mindless and boring. Later. Carol: Woo-hoo! I forwarded an email!