Product Comic Strips - Page 21

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385 Results for Product

View 201 - 210 results for product comic strips. Discover the best "Product" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"Dilbert, come up with a plan to integrate our product with the one we acquired through the merger." "Okay. My plan is to throw away the competitor's product because it's just a cheap knock-off of our product." "How about a plan that doesn't make our CEO look like a moron?" "He could stop wearing sleeveless sweaters."

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CEO Visits "We bought our competitor and we plan to integrate their product line into ours." "Did anyone tell you that their products are worthless pieces of garbage? Maybe that's why they sold the company." "I mean congratulations."

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Tags cable, doesn't attach, create demand, young people dancing, budget cuts

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Our new product is a cable that doesn't attach to anything. "We hope to create demand via a series of commercials showing young people dancing." "And then we'll all go straight to hell." "He didn't take the last round of budget cuts well."

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Tags trends are positive, crushing debt, moronic management, aging product line

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Tina writes the Annual Report All trends are positive. Footnote 5: Unless you consider our crushing debt, moronic management, and aging product line. "What font is this? It's so tiny." "Enron Beelzebub."

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Question: If our new product takes you sixty minutes into the future in one hour... "Isn't that the same as doing nothing at all?" "It also makes you lose weight if you stay in it long enough...while not eating."

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We've narrowed our target market to this guy. "He's the only one rich enough and stupid enough to buy our high-end product." "Our diamond-encrusted time machine will take you one hour into the future in only sixty minutes!"

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Tags wally reflctor, bad people, make you work, offer no resistance, order made, requires work. they blow it off, no work necessary

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Asok: the move that I ma about to teach you is called the "wally reflects" Wally: Throughout the day bad people will try to make you do work of for them. At first, offer no resistance, as if you actually plan to do the work. Then ask the offender to do a little bit of work himself. Allow me to demonstrate. Wally, I need to design a data base for all of our product features and services. Wally: Glad to do it! Wally: all i need from you is a comprehensive list of the dats fields you need included. Oh...wow Im really busy, I;ll had et get back to you on that. and I'll never see that idiot again. You inspire me. In a creepy kind of way.

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Tags marketing campiagn, free samples, worked, decline, intelligence, conclusion, marketing, business

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Dilbert: "My marketing plan involved giving free samples of our cruddy product to celebrity lookalikes." "The fact that it worked caused a steep decline in my respect for the intelligence of people." "In conclusion, there's a fine line between marketing and hating."

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Tags developing, easy tear, noise cancellation, headphones, recognize stupidity, prototype

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Wally: "This is a prototype of the product I've been developing for the past year." "I modified a paid of standard noise-concellation headphones to recognize stupidity and block it before it reaches your ears." "Put these on and you'll enjoy the total bliss that comes from avoiding the chatter of idiots." The Boss: "Do they work?" Wally: "What?" The Boss: "I said, do they work?!!" Wally: "Does anyone have any questions?" Dilbert: "Those are ordinary headphones, aren't they?" Wally: "If you act like you can't hear, they're a prototype."

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Tags spreadsheet for accuracy, impenetrable jumble, poorly organized, cryptic labels, simple document, ratio of returns, sales taxes, roprtgresta, organizing, taxes, coulumns

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"Can you check my spreadsheet for accuracy?" "It's an impenetrable jumble of poorly organized data with cryptic labels." "I only need you to check it for accuracy." "I don't think accuracy matters if no one can tell what it's for." "Sheesh! Let me expain this document!" "This column is the ratio of product returns to gross revenue excluding sales taxes, annualized." "it's clearly labeled "ROPRTGRESTA."" "What about the other 80 columns?" "What the #*%!?" "And Dilbert found no inaccuracies."