Rifle Through Purse Comic Strips - Page 21

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View 201 - 210 results for rifle through purse comic strips. Discover the best "Rifle Through Purse" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new software, #installed, #send registartion, #modem, #credit card, #Number, #new products, #virus, #excellent marketing

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Dilbert sits at his computer. A message on the screen says, "Your new software is successfully installed. Do you want to send your registration info by modem?" Dilbert says, "Yes." A message says, "The software has found your credit card number and is placing orders for new products it thinks you need . . . Please wait." Dilbert says, "Uh." The message says, "Making room on your hard drive . . ." Dilbert says as he loads a rifle, "I can't tell if it's a virus or just excellent marketing." Dogbert holds the box of ammunition and adds, "Either way . . "

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #'bring your dog to work day, #Dogbert, #no such thing, #through firewall

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Dogbert stands at Dilbert's desk and Dilbert sits next to him. Alice asks, "Hey, what's Dogbert doing here?" Dilbert replies, "This is 'Bring Your Dog to Work Day.'" Alice says, "There's no such thing." Dogbert works at the desk and says, "I'm through the security firewall and into the personnel records." Dilbert looks angry and says, "We need to talk."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineers, #field support people, #inferior technology, #most attractive feamle, #prodcuts

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Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table with a sales rep. As they look through some folders, the woman says, "On one hand, my company does use inferior technology in our products . . ." The salesperson continues, "But on the other hand, I'm the most attractive female who has paid attention to you this year." Dilbert responds angrily, "What kind of engineers do you think we are??!" Wally asks, "Do you have pictures of your field support people?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #obstacle to success, #poor graphics, #inability to communicate, #beyond communication, #think clearly, #high five, #broke code, #participate, #meetings

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The Boss puts a transparency on the overhead projector and says, "This graphic shows our biggest obstacle to success." The diagram shows an arrow through a series of acronyms. Alice, Dilbert and Wally sit at the conference table looking confused. Wally asks, "Are you saying our biggest obstacle to success is poor graphics?" Alice replies, "I think he's saying our biggest problem is his overall inability to communicate." Dilbert says, "I think his point goes beyond communication. He's showing us that he doesn't even THINK clearly!" Wally says, "That's it!" Alice says, "High five!!" Wally shouts, "You broke the code!" The Boss says, "You know how I said you should participate more in meetings? I didn't mean it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #planes going down, #one parachute, #harvard mba, #dog, #knapsack, #old joke, #ceo grabs, #animals

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Dogbert stands in the cabin of the corporate jet wearing a parachute on his back. He says to the CEO, "It looks like the plane's going down and there's only one parachute." The CEO looks shocked. The CEO grabs the parachute and screams, "Give it to me!!! I'm a CEO with a Harvard MBA. You're a dog!!" Dogbert and the CEO fall through the air wearing packs on their backs. Dogbert says to the CEO, "That's my knapsack." As some fruit and loose paper falls out of the CEO's pack, he says, "Old joke."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #corporate jet pilot, #captain speaking, #land safely, #ceo, #not funny

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The corporate jet flies through the air. From the cockpit, Dogbert announces, "This is your captain speaking . . ." Dogbert sits at the controls with the microphone in his hand. He continues, "If you'd like to land safely, there's something I've always wanted to see a CEO do." The CEO puts his head out of the airplane window and sticks out his tongue. He thinks, "This is so NOT funny."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #reprogrammed dna, #marketing guys, #heavens sake, #thank you, #power of suggestion

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As they walk down a corridor, Alice says to Dilbert, "Maybe you shouldn't have told Stan you programmed his DNA through the LAN." Alice continues, "Those marketing guys believe anything. They even believe market research, for heaven's sake." As Stan approaches, Alice says, "There's no telling what the power of suggestion might do." Stan, whose facial features now resemble those of a weasel, says to Dilbert, "Well, thank you very much."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineers, #charge time, #marketing, #reprogram, #compuetr, #radiation, #alter dna, #possible, #business

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Dilbert sits at his computer. An employee peers around the door of Dilbert's cubicle and says, "Ha ha! Now that the engineers must charge their time to marketing, we OWN you!" Dilbert replies, "I'll just reprogram your computer through the LAN so its radiation will alter your DNA." The employee asks, "Is that possible??!" Dilbert responds "As far as you know."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new co - op employee, #no pay, #free, #gain experience, #pig project, #paper towel guy, #spills cofee, #throw body, #fire in the hole, #tea, #body throw

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The Boss, a man, Alice, Wally, and Dilbert sit around a conference table. The Boss points to the man and says, "I'd like you all to meet our new co-op employee." The Boss says, "We don't pay him. He works for free to gain valuable job experience." The Boss says to the man, "I'm putting you in charge of the PTG project!" The man says, "Wow! What is it?!!" Alice replies, "PTG stands for 'Paper Towel Guy.'" Alice explains, "If somebody spills coffee it's your job to throw your body on it before it reaches one of us." Alice spills a cup on the table and says, "Oops." The man flies through the air, yelling, "Fire in the hole!!!" The man lies on top of the spill. He asks, "How'd I do?" Alice says, Not so good, kid. That was tea."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fields of heather, #flying dreams, #important change, #soon increase, #somebody else, #new ceo

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In a dream, Dilbert flies through the sky. He thinks, "In my dream I float over fields of heather." Below him a girl waves and says, "Hi! I'm Heather." Dilbert thinks, "The flying dream always predicts an important change. I feel that my freedom will soon increase." Dilbert wakes up in a meeting as the Boss asks, "Does somebody else have a question for our new CEO?" Dilbert's arms are out-streched and his finger is stuck in the CEO's ear. Dilbert thinks, "My finger is stuck."