Stupid Comic Strips - Page 21
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254 Results for Stupid
View 201 - 210 results for stupid comic strips. Discover the best "Stupid" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday October 27,
1994
Tags dogbert ethics advisor, prodcut, mail people, high fees, procedure, ethics advice, return stupid prodcut
Transcript
"Dogbert: Ethics Advisor" "We mail our product to people and tell them it's free for one year." "Then we start nailing them with high fees because they'll forget the procedure for returning the product. They're trapped." "So, did you have some ethics advice?" "No. I asked you here so I can return your stupid product."
Sunday October 09,
1994
Tags ask dilbert, attractive, bad hair, engineers can't lie, hairdo, insults woman, make ship date, technical questions, truth, bugs are features
Transcript
"I brought Dilbert, in case you have any technical questions about our product." "Heh-heh...engineers don't know how to lie. The truth will be mine." "Uh-oh." "Ted said your product is bug-free. Is that true Dilbert?" "Well, yes, that's true." "I mean, basically true. Technicaly true. Sort of." "No-o-o!! It's a lie! All the bugs were reclassified as security features just to make the ship date!!" "And we both think you could be attractive if you'd just do SOMETHING with your hair." "Why did I bring you along?" "The evidence suggests that you're stupid."
Monday September 26,
1994
Tags saint dogbert, priority matrix, agenda
Transcript
"I invited Saint Dogbert to bludgeon anybody who strays from the agenda into something stupid." "That reminds me of the productization of our Tiger Team's priority matrix." "Actually, that was on the agenda." "Oops. Carry on."
Tuesday September 06,
1994
Tags phone poll, Dogbert, voting twice, each call costs, money making, opinions
Transcript
"People are so stupid they should pay me to listen to their opinions." "If you disagree, you can call my phone poll at 555-Dog-BERT. Each call costs two dollars." "I'm voting twice."
Sunday August 21,
1994
Tags proposal, alternatives, lobby government, tax breaks, idiot run businesses, quit job, new career, handing out towels, cow chips, bull shit
Transcript
The boss: Your proposal doesn't address the alternatives. Dilbert: There aren't any reasonable alternatives. The boss: There are always alternatives! Give me alternatives!! No wonder nothing gets done around here - not enough alternatives. typing: "we could lobby the government to give tax breaks to all idiot run businesses" "I could quit this stupid job and start a new career handing out towels at the gym" "Or we could use cow chips instead of microchips and save millions" The Boss: whats a cow chip? Dilbert: This job would be an example.
Saturday July 30,
1994
Tags exaggerating accomplishments, failing, monkey, more humiliating, stupid monkey, typical, zimbu, animals
Transcript
The Boss: Our CEO cancelled his visit, He's sending his top aid, ZIMBU the monkey in his place. Dilbert: Isn't that typical? I spent a week exaggerating my accomplishments for this now he sends a stupid monkey! what could be more humiliating than trying to suck up to a monkey? Monkey: Failing at it?
Thursday June 02,
1994
Tags diversity training, respect differences, four groups, insults group, dog, teaching, workers, animals, education
Transcript
Dilbert: In 'diversity sensitivity' training you will learn to respect those who are different. DOgbert: People basically fall into these four groups. ugly smart cute smart ugly stupid cute stupid Dilbert: This is different than I expected. Dogbert: I notice that all of you are in this box here.
Saturday May 28,
1994
Tags genus, derogatory word, rat, rattus, define its own name, dog, smarter than stupid rattus, animals
Transcript
"From now on, I prefer that you not refer to my genus by the derogatory word 'rat'." "The correct word is 'rattus'. It is the right of any group to define its own name. You must respect that." "Don't call me a dog anymore. From now on my correct name is 'smarter-than-a-stupid-rattus'."
Friday May 06,
1994
Tags user rep, stupid, new paradigm
Transcript
"My user representative is the stupidest..." "No way! My user is the stupidest." "Oh yeah?! Let's have a little wager. Go get your user and I'll get mine!" "You're on!" "Have another scone, Tom." "You're right. They do look just like styrofoam cups." "It's a new paradigm..."
Thursday February 17,
1994
Tags forgiveness, seek permission, personal risk, next reorganization, sound stupid, ask permission
Transcript
Wally: "I say it's easier to ask forgiveness than to ask permission." TED : "I say it's better to seek permission, thus delaying your personal risk until it all becomes moot in the next reorganization." Wally: "That makes mine sound kinda stupid." TED: "Get over it."


