Ted Comic Strips - Page 21
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Character
448 Results for Ted
View 201 - 210 results for ted comic strips. Discover the best "Ted" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday October 30,
2008
Tags being moved, 50 miles each way, hundred
Transcript
The Boss says, "Ted, you can keep your job but your office is being moved 50 miles away." Ted says, "Gosh, I guess I could drive another 50 miles each way." The Boss says, "How about a hundred?"
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Thursday September 18,
2008
Tags head explode, one more thing, clean up, aisle three, work, over worked, crazy
Transcript
The Boss says, "Ted, I know you said your head would explode if I ask you to do one more thing, but..." POW! The Boss says, "Cleanup on aisle three."
Monday September 08,
2008
Tags Promotion, money for cake, grossly overpais, exacerbate, unfairness, high cholestrol
Transcript
Tina says, "Ted got promoted, so I'm collecting money for a cake." Dilbert says, "He'll be grossly overpaid compared to us. Buying him cake will exacerbate the unfairness." Tina says, "He has high cholesterol." Dilbert says, "Here's a dollar."
Sunday August 03,
2008
Tags position eleiminated, performance, not told, position, no explination, just a trick, feel less awkward, hot replacement
Transcript
The Boss says, "Ted, your position is being eliminated." Ted says, "What? You never told me there was anything wrong with my performance!" The Boss says, "It's not about your performance. Your position is being eliminated." Ted says, "Well, that seems mighty convenient." Ted says, "This way you can replace me without explaining why I never got a bad performance review." Ted says, "is this just a trick to make you feel less awkward while firing me?" A woman says, "I thought you said he'd be gone by now." The Boss says, "Is there any comfort in knowing your replacement is totally hot?"
Sunday June 22,
2008
Tags retirement plans, for losers, winners keep jobs, no stress, free coffee, cost estimates, worthless leech
Transcript
Asok says, "Wally, what do you plan to do after you retire?" Wally says, "Retirement is for losers, Asok." Wally says, "Winners keep their jobs but stop caring about the quality of their work." Wally says, "I have no stress, free coffee, and I get paid, too." Wally says, "Watch how this works." Ted says, "Wally, can you give me some cost estimates for my project?" Wally says, "I'm too busy. Ask Dilbert." Asok says, "Doesn't this make you a worthless leech on society?" Wally says, "I'm pretty sure the winner in that example is the leech."
Thursday June 19,
2008
Tags rumor control, paid per rumor, terrorit training campo, exotic dancer, weekends
Transcript
Dogbert says, "I'm from the Dogbert Rumor Control Service." Dogbert says, "People are saying Ted is an exotic male dancer on weekends. I know it isn't true because he spends all of his free time in a terrorist training camp." Alice says, "Isn't that worse?" Dogbert says, "I get paid per rumor. It's not a perfect system."
Wednesday June 18,
2008
Tags workplace rumours, idiot, false rumor, charging for rumors
Transcript
Dogbert's Rumor Control Ted says, "I need to squash a workplace rumor that I'm an idiot." Dogbert says, "I charge $10 for each false rumor and $1,000 for any rumor I decide is true." Ted says, "Sounds fair." Dogbert says, "Really? That just cost you $1,000."
Tuesday June 17,
2008
Tags gossip, spreading rumors, monkey could do, corporate newsletter, trick question
Transcript
Carol says, "I heard a rumor that you think a monkey could do my job." Carol says, "Do you think a monkey could fling this corporate newsletter at your head?" Carol says, "Unh!!!" Ted says, "Is this a trick question?"
Monday June 16,
2008
Tags baby eater, gossipsize, vicious rumors, taken down, pushed out, mean spirited
Transcript
Catbert says, "Ted, I've decided to gossipsize you." Catbert says, "I'm spreading vicious rumors about you until you feel compelled to quit." Ted says, "People are too smart to..." Someone says, "PIPE DOWN, BABY EATER!"
Sunday June 15,
2008
Tags 80thousand, forboding, funny story, paper, print long document, printer paper
Transcript
The Boss says, "Ted, I have a funny story for you!" Ted says,"Why am I filled with a sense of foreboding?" The Boss says, "So I was trying to print a long document, hee-hee!" The Boss says, "But when I went to the printer, the document wasn't there!" The Boss says, "For the next three days I kept trying and trying, but the document never showed up at the printer!" The Boss says, "It turns out I was checking the wrong printer. The right printer used $80,000 worth of paper that week." Ted says, "And how does this affect me?" The Boss says, "You and paper just became an either-or situation."


