Window Control Comic Strips - Page 21
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Wally stacks binders on his desk chair and tells Dilbert, ". . . And if I pile enough binders on my chair I'll have a window view!" Wally stands on his chair and looks over the cubicle wall. Dilbert thinks as he walks away, "I've got to try that." The Boss hands Ted a binder and says, "Wow! I've never seen so much interest in our business plan!" Ted asks, "Can I have two?" Behind them, Dilbert, Wally and their co-workers stand on their chairs looking out of their cubicles.
LIZ: I can tell that you like me because you don't quite know what to do with your hands. DILBERT: To test my hypothesis I will hold this hand and observe the change. LIZ" The "Control" hand remains limp and clammy. It twin loses control, Hypothesis confirmed. thupa thupa thupa thupa thupa
wally: "?" Dilbert: "Expand...window." Wally: "Well, look who got a voice-controlled computer." Dilbert: "Insert...column." wally: "If I were a lesser engineer I might be envious." dilbert: "Add...row." Wally: "I don't mind using my prehistoric mouse-driven computer." "And I'm not bitter about my request for a color printer being denied." "At least I won't work all day then accidently..." "DELETE...A FILE!!" Dilbert: "#!@%%&" Wally: "Please...not in front of the computer."
"Bad news sir - our arch rivals are out-bidding us for control of DSN." "Apparently they have even less creative investment ideas than we do." "Quick! Give more money to our consultants!" "They're spending as fast as they can, Sir!!"
- How to reorganize for success Put All your deadbeats and whiners in one sub group. Deadbeats: we don't want to be a subgroup. -Give them a project that duplicates work being done by more competent people elsewhere in the company.- Soon, the manager of the competent people will find out you're duplicating his work. Man: You're on my turf Dogbert: Boo hoo - He'll make a play to get your project under his control.- Man: They should be transferred to my control. - Before you transfer the deadbeats. Give them high performance reviews to conceal your treachery Deadbeat: Godlike ? wow! Dogbert: I'll miss you. - In time, the manager who took your losers will fail, this decreasing competition for promotions. AAIIII!! Dogbert: Next week I'll discuss teamwork - the managers obstacle to success.
Dilbert sits on the couch and Dogbert stands on the armrest. Dogbert hands Dilbert a list and says, "Here's a list of my Christmas demands." Dogbert says, "Follow the instructions and nobody gets hurt." Dilbert says, "You're bluffing. You wouldn't hurt my plastic window Santa." Dogbert holds the electric cord to the decoration and says, "One yank and he's off life support!"
Dogbert sits at a desk in front a window thinking, "I've shouted my way into a job and a corner office. Now I need an empire." Dogbert says as he types, "I'll start a task force around some hot buzzwords. Later I'll convert the people into my own division." Dilbert says to Wally, "Hey, there's a 'Palmtop Personal Multimedia' task force being formed!" Wally replies, "That one's gonna fill up quick."
Dogbert aims a video camera at Ratbert. Dilbert asks, "What are you filming?" Dogbert replies, "Ratbert got his own cable tv channel." Dogbert explains, "Now that cable tv has a thousand channels they're desperate for original programs." A man and a woman sit on a couch watching television. The man points the remote control at the tv and says, "Back in the six hundreds I saw a rat slapping his head to a Barry Manilow tune." The woman says, "That's worth a second look."
Dilbert sits in his chair watching television and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dilbert says, "This show is garbage. I will eschew it." Dilbert uses the remote control to change the channel. Dilbert and Dogbert watch tv. Dogbert says, "That explains your breath." Dilbert asks, "You're in your own little world, aren't you?"