2008 Comic Strips - Page 21
Search Filters
Year
- 2023
- 2022
- 2021
- 2020
- 2019
- 2018
- 2017
- 2016
- 2015
- 2014
- 2013
- 2012
- 2011
- 2010
- 2009
- 2008
- 2007
- 2006
- 2005
- 2004
- 2003
- 2002
- 2001
- 2000
- 1999
- 1998
- 1997
- 1996
- 1995
- 1994
- 1993
- 1992
- 1991
- 1990
- 1989
Character
Saturday June 14,
2008
Tags can't survive, flyswatter, late invoices
Transcript
A man says, "My tiny company can't survive if you insist on paying our invoices late." The Boss says, "You should have thought of that before you decided to become a tiny company." The Boss says, "Come here for a second." A man says, "Please... not the flyswatter."
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Friday June 13,
2008
Tags interest free loan, paperwork, snortling, leverage is limited, no snortling
Transcript
The Boss says, "I've decided that your tiny company will give us an interest-free loan." The Boss says, "There's no paperwork to sign. We'll just pay your invoices late while snortling." The Boss says, "This is the part where you realize your negotiating leverage is limited." A man, "I demand no snortling!"
Thursday June 12,
2008
Tags mock interview, weasel, edit trainer, costume, human costume
Transcript
Dogbert the Media Trainer Dogbert: "Let's try a mock interview to see how you respond under pressure. Are you a stinking weasel trying to pass as human?!!!" Weasel: What gave it away? Dogbert: "Honestly, it was a lucky guess."
Wednesday June 11,
2008
Tags abe lincoln, avoid comparisons, fords theater, media trainer, sandwhich, company future
Transcript
Dogbert the Media Trainer Dogbert: Carefully choose your words when talking about the company's future. For example, avoid comparisons to Abe Lincoln at Ford's Theatre, 'Circling the drain,' and anything involving flies."And never, ever refer to the company as any kind of sandwich you wouldn't want to eat." CEO: That's my favorite one!"
Tuesday June 10,
2008
Tags billions in bad loans, bug pay cut, regulatory oversight
Transcript
CEO: We've decided to write off 47 billion dollars in bad loans. You might think this is my fault, but in actuality it is all caused by poor regulatory oversight. Who is in favor of those guys taking a big pay cut? Anyone?"
Monday June 09,
2008
Tags meeting with boss, vendors, customers, please kill me
Transcript
The Boss says, "Asok, you never mentioned any issues this quarter, so I assume you didn't do any work." A man says, "Ooooh, lordy lord! Our vendors are incompetent and our customers are suing us!!!" The Boss says, "Why can't you be more like that guy?" A man says, "Someone please kill me!"
Sunday June 08,
2008
Tags really show, camera, capture failures, humiliations, dull act of insignificance, fill void, fathering children, being famous
Transcript
Dogbert says, "I decided to produce a reality show about your life." Dilbert says, "What?" Dogbert says, "The cameras will follow you around and capture all of your failures and humiliations." Dilbert says, "Why would I agree to that?" Dogbert says, "Because you suffer from the dull ache of insignificance." Dogbert says, "You can only fill the horrible void in your soul by fathering children or being famous." Dilbert says, "Maybe I prefer to have children." Dogbert says, "And maybe you prefer to flap your ears and fly to Mars." Dogbert says, "Do you see where I'm going with this?" BOP A cameraman says, "Sorry."
Saturday June 07,
2008
Tags executive steering group, cancel designs, sowed seeds of destruction, unclear
Transcript
The Boss says, "The executive steering group took your recommendation to cancel all design projects." Dilbert says, "What?!! I didn't recommend that!" The Boss says, "Uh-oh. Your poor communication skills have sowed the seeds of our destruction." Dilbert says, "Gaaa!!!" Dilbert says, "Am I an unclear communicator?" Dogbert says, "six o'clock."
Friday June 06,
2008
Tags betray ignorance, complicated scle, experience the illusion, technical report
Transcript
Dilbert says, "You won't read my technical report so I summarized it in this complicated slide." Dilbert says, "If you stare at it long enough you will either experience the illusion of understanding it or be too embarrassed to admit you don't." Dilbert says, "Do you have any questions to betray your ignorance?" Someone says, "Is the triangle thing mad at the tube?"
Thursday June 05,
2008
Tags colossal waste, different light, less usless, unimportant, staff meetings
Transcript
Wally says, "I took a class on being less useless. Now I see the world in a different light." Wally says, "For example, I recognize these staff meetings as colossal wastes of time, but there's nothing I can do about them." Wally says, "Now my helplessness makes my uselessness seem unimportant."

