Better Than Sun Comic Strips - Page 21

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View 201 - 210 results for better than sun comic strips. Discover the best "Better Than Sun" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #elbonia, #check software, #under contract, #documentation, #elbonian language, #wiring easy, #hope to read

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The caption says, "Somewhere in Elbonia." Dilbert says to two Elbonians, "I've been assigned to check the software you're writing for us under contract." One Elbonian says, "The documentation is written in our own Elbonian language." The other asks, "Is that a problem?" Dilbert says, "That's better than I'd hoped. I was afraid nobody here knew how to write." An Elbonian responds, "Writing is easy. Someday we hope to read, too."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #had a cat once, #two hours, #beef of cat, #selfish

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Alice, Wally and Dilbert sit at the lunch table. Wally says, "I had a cat once . . ." Wally continues, "I petted that thing for two hours but I didn't feel any better." Dilbert says, "Petting is for the benefit of the cat, not your hand." Wally says, "They're so selfish."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #diagnose mental health, #exercise regulalry, #looking depressed, #prescription, #anti depressant

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Dilbert walks by with a briefcase as the garbage man is emptying a trashcan. The garbage man says to him, "Dilbert, I notice you've been looking depressed lately." The garbage man writes on a pad and says, "Here's a prescription for an antidepressant drug. Be sure to exercise regularly and don't skip meals." Dilbert says angrily, "What makes you think you're qualified to diagnose my mental health?!!" The garbage man reaches for the prescription and says, "I'd better double it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #action plan, #solve problems, #problems, #demented, #expense, #demented plat, #lift veil, #ignorance

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Dilbert and Liz sit on a park bench. Liz says, "Um . . . When I've shared my feelings with you, I wasn't hoping you'd design an action plan to solve all of my problems." Dilbert asks, "Why else would you tell me all of your problems . . . Unless it's some demented plot to make yourself feel better at my expense?" Back at home, Dilbert tells Dogbert, "You were right. It was all a demented plot." Dogbert says, "I'm trying to gradually lift your veil of ignorance."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #no downsizing, #job is safe, #quality good news, #going downhill

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The Boss says to Wally, "Good news, Wally. Most of our smart employees quit to get much better jobs elsewhere. Now we don't have to do any downsizing." The Boss continues, "Your job is safe. We need you to do the work of all the people who left." Wally, Dilbert and Alice sit at a table eating lunch. Wally asks, "Is it just me . . . or is the quality of 'good news' really going downhill lately?" Dilbert replies, "I'd have to say you're both going downhill."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hit glass ceiling, #play the game, #promote you, #dresses like boss, #suit, #pointy haired

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Alice and Wally sit at a table eating lunch. Alice says, "I've hit the glass ceiling. I'll never be promoted again." Wally replies, "That's because you're not willing to 'play the game.' You have to look and act like the person who can promote you." In order to look like the Boss, Alice shapes her hair into two points, puts on a suit and stuffs a pillow under her shirt. The Boss sees her and thinks, "Ooo la la!" Alice thinks, "This had better work."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #consultant, #attractive women, #trade show booth, #rejected idea, #sexist, #demeaning, #increase traffic, #dental floss, #thong bikini dilberts, #business

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Dilbert, Alice, Wally and the Boss sit at a conference table. Alice says, "Our consultant suggested putting attractive women in our booth at the trade show." Alice continues, "I rejected that idea. It is sexist and demeaning. I have a better idea to increase traffic to our booth." Dilbert asks, "What's the dental floss for?" Alice replies, "It's your thong bikini. You'll stand in front of our competitor's booth."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ratbert, #corporate trainer, #class, #sharing segment, #grim downsizer

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Ratbert stands on a chair and says, "Let's go around the room and say who we are and what we hope to get out of the class." The Grim Reaper, Wally, a man and a woman sit at a conference table. The Grim Reaper says, "I'm the Grim Downsizer. I'm here to decruit the entire training department plus all of the people who have time to attend classes." Wally says, "My name is Dilbert. I'm here in place of Wally who is working hard to build a better tomorrow." The man next to Wally says, "I'm somebody else too." The Grim Reaper says, "Nice try."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Catbert, #evil hr director, #window cubicle, #naps, #on walls head

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Catbert peers into Wally's cubicle and says, "Hey, Wally, I pulled some strings to get you moved to a window cubicle." Catbert continues, "It's for my own benefit. I plan to take naps while lying in the sun on top of your head." Catbert sleeps on Wally's head. Wally says, "Every day this job teaches me I can get used to anything."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #reduce expenses, #essentail jobs, #business cards, #borrow some

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The Boss, Wally, Dilbert and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "In order to reduce expenses, only the employees in essential jobs may have business cards." Wally, Dilbert and Alice think, "I'd better order some business cards to find out if I'm 'essential.'" The Boss says to his secretary, "Carol, order some new business cards for me." Carol replies, "Ooh. No can do. But you can borrow some of mine."