Delivery System Comic Strips - Page 21

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View 201 - 210 results for delivery system comic strips. Discover the best "Delivery System" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #disbale cahe mode, #duplicate key, #engineer, #helping coowrker, #technical work, #understand, #engineering

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ALICE: "Just disable the local cache mode to fix the MAPI settings, and delete the duplicate messaging sub-system registry key." TINA: "What if I don't understand anything you said right then? ALICE: Good grief! I can't make it any simpler!" TINA: "GAAA!!!" ALICE: "It's funny because it's cruel."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"Dilbert, I'd like you to accompany Alan on a sales call." "You'll explain how our product works with their current system. Alan will crack jokes and collect a huge commission." "It might sound unfair, but these are good jokes." "Like 'What can I do you for?'"

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You're in charge of installing the system that Lyin' John sold to our biggest customer. "Lyin' John neglected to include the network and server in his sale. This is a financial sinkhole." "You take the joy out of delegating."

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"Here's the problem: Our salesman, Lyin' John, sold you a system that we can't install without losing money." "I propose that you pay us 40% more than we quoted you in the contract, and everyone wins." "Her body language says she's thinking about it." CRACK!!!

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Our sales guy vastly underbid a job. Now it's my project to install the system in a way that's profitable. "Blame your customer for underspecifying the features then charge her through the nose for change orders." "Three million dollars for an electrical plug?" "The base model uses a potato battery."

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My new strategy is to hire passionate people instead of smart ones. "I curse the air conditioning system that blows such a cold wind!" "I can already feel our stock price going up."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"I need you to drop whatever you're doing and work all night to make this change to your system." "If you refuse to do my bidding, here's the rumor I will spread about you." "Ha! I'll say I was only scratching an itch." "Good luck with that."

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Carl quit. He's the only one who knows how to program the legacy system. "It can't be that hard. Go figure it out." ? "Frack."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

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I found a family of squirrels living inside our legacy system. "They control our payroll database. They're making demands." "Leave the acorns and no one will get their deductions increased."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #depressed, #corporate job, #intern, #unimportant tasks, #feel nothing, #stressed, #ptsd, #punch, #numb out

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Asok: My job is an endless series of mind-numbingly unimportant tasks. "My central nervous system is starting to atrophy." The Boss: "I'm kind of busy." Asok: "Punch me in the head so I can feel something."