Engineer Skills Comic Strips - Page 21

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

361 Results for Engineer Skills

View 201 - 210 results for engineer skills comic strips. Discover the best "Engineer Skills" comics from Dilbert.com.

We Already Have A Carl

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
We Already Have A Carl - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #interview, #skills, #confuse, #employee, #names

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i can't hire you because we already have an employee named carl. it would confuse people, and we don't need that. interviewee: what about my skills? boss: people with better names have skills too.

Alice And Blockchain

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 Alice And Blockchain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #project, #learn, #skills

View Transcript

Transcript

alice: i'd like to help on the blockchain project to build my skills in that area. boss: i don't like it when people learn new things. alice: i don't know what to say to that. boss: oh, good. it worked.

I Can't Hear You

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
I Can't Hear You  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #video call, #engineer, #sales, #dumb, #hear, #inaudible, #meeting, #long

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice on video call. voice from laptop: i can't hear you. Alice: well, i'm an engineer, and you're in sales, so that narrows it down to some dumb thing you're doing. voice from laptop yelling: i...can't...hear...you... alice: this is going to be a long meeting.

Cameras Can See You

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Cameras Can See You  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #business ethics, #technology, #hackers, #camera, #digital device, #skills, #detection, #performance, #review, #minutes, #laptop, #coffee

View Transcript

Transcript

boss and wally on video call. wally: did you know hackers can see you and hear you through the cameras on your digital devices? in fact, someone with my skills could do it in minutes and never be detected. boss: what are you trying to tell me? wally: it's just something to keep in mind when you do my performance review.

Title Promotion

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Title Promotion - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #recognition, #outstanding, #work, #pandemic, #title, #Promotion, #stupid, #raise, #ungrateful, #engineer

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: dilbert, in recognition of your outstanding work during the pandemic, i'm giving you a promotion. dilbert: i don't want a stupid title. i want a raise. what's my new title? boss's voice through phone: "ungrateful engineer."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #engineers, #lust, #pon farr cycle, #irreversible urge, #mating season, #engineer mating season, #spawn, #prodcut, #unnecessary steps, #rarely happens, #specifications, #vague

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina says, "Did you hear that Dilbert and Alice are on the same Pon Farr cycle?" Carol says, "What?" Tina says, "Every seven years, engineers have an irresistible urge to mate. Their spawn would be the product of two engineers." There's a reason it rarely happens Dilbert says, "Your plan has unnecessary steps!" Alice says, "Your specifications are vague!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #engineers, #honesty, #beginning of decline, #salted note, #good idea, #why don't we format, #social product

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I have a great idea! Why don't we make our product social?" Dilbert says, "Because when you start to understand a concept, it marks the beginning of its decline." Dilbert says, "On a related note, it's never a good idea to ask an engineer a question in the 'why don't we' format."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #newspapers, #wages, #managers & supervisors, #business, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says, "I just saw in the news that Google gave an engineer millions of dollars. I'm underpaid!" The Boss says, "I'll speak to our director of human resources and see how I can fix this situation." Alice says, "Really?" The Boss says, "How can we stop news?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #engineers, #revenge, #loud talker, #chronic faltualator, #seating arrangements, #cubicle arrangements, #sound, #noise, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Office relocation Alice says, "Your floor plan puts me between a loud talker and a chronic flatulator." Tina says, "I could move you to a cubicle between a guy who clears his throat all day and a woman who laughs too much." Alice says, "Is this because I once said you aren't smart enough to be an engineer?" Tina says, "Look what I engineered?" Office Relocation

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #apathy, #executives, #work ethic, #enginner, #no budget, #emailed, #ceo, #social network, #global supply chain

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: So... you emailed our CEO and asked for funds to build a social network for our global supply chain. Dilbert: No one wants that, But it sounds good, so he moved all of our project funding to your dumb idea. and...you will produce nothing, Wally: said the engineer with no budget.