Enter Meeting Comic Strips - Page 21

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View 201 - 210 results for enter meeting comic strips. Discover the best "Enter Meeting" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting pirates, #taking over agendas, #scurvy rats, #server, #virtualization

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Dilbert says, "We've had reports of 'meeting pirates,' taking over agendas and pillaging credit." Pirate says, "Yaaarg!!! I take yer document, and leave ye scurvy rats adrift!" Pirate says, "And then I invented server virtualization. Yaaarg!" The Boss says, "Wow! That was a good idea."

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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #attend meeting, #request, #busy, #meet halfway, #not showing up, #half of life

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wally, can you attend my meeting friday? wally: Im very busy, but I'll meet you half way, what does that mean in this context? wally: they say half of life is just showing up. so...you will be .... wally: Doing the other half.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #confusion, #fear, #firings, #humor, #meeting, #panic, #downsized, #spam folder, #recession, #intern, #business

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The Boss says, "You still work here? I thought I downsized you last week." Asok says, "Um?I don't think so." The Boss says, "Check your spam folder after the meeting." Dilbert says, "First recession?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #eating, #customers, #angry, #business

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Wally says, "Thanks for coming on short notice. I called this meeting because?" Wally says, "?Company policy allows me to order donuts for any meeting that includes customers." Wally says, "I don't work on commission."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #colors, #useless, #hatred, #complaining, #business

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The boss says, "At the value stream stand up meeting, all status reports must be in the form of red, yellow, or green." Mauve Ecru Cerulean Puce the boss says, "Sometimes the only point of a meeting is to remind me how much I hate them."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sitting, #meeting, #explaining, #project, #annoyed, #angry, #lazy, #wasting, #time, #business

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Wally says, "I spent the first part of the week installing our new productivity software." Wally says, "Then I used the rest of the week trying to make it interface with our time reporting system." Wally says, "So far all it can do is tell me how much time I'm wasting in this meeting."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #elbonia, #angry, #threatening, #kung fu, #frustration, #stuck, #business

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Industry Standards Meeting in Elbonia Dilbert says, "Let's adopt my company's specs as the industry standard." Man says, "Your specifications are weak, and so is your kung fu." From that day on, all standards meetings were held in the mud of Elbonia. Man says, "Can't...Kick! Stupid...mud!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sitting, #complaining, #excuse, #meeting, #annoyed, #angry, #frustration, #business

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Ted the Drama queen Ted says, "I can't attend the meeting Tuesday because Barry thinks I didn't return his flash drive." Ted says, "I'm afraid of him because he's a liar and a drunk, and I heard he killed a cab driver." Ted says, "I'd wear a disguise, but prosthetic adhesives give me hives." Alice thinks, "Must...control...jack...hammer." buddabuddabudda

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #complaining, #stupidity, #confused, #coworker, #leaving, #business

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Dilbert says, "I didn't understand anything you said for the past half an hour." Dilbert says, "You shushed me every time I tried to interrupt with a question." Dilbert says, "Now we're out of time, and my only memory of this meeting is that noise came out of your donut hole." Woman says, "This is why I don't let you talk."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lying, #budget meeting, #cfo, #precious budget dollars, #competeing, #dots are staffed, #professional liars, #call marketing, #finace

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The Boss says, "I have a budget meeting tomorrow with our CFO." The Boss says, "I'll be competing against all of the other departments for precious budget dollars." The Boss says, "This won't be easy because all of the other departments are staffed with professional liars." Dilbert says, "That's a bit of an exaggeration, don't you think?" The Boss says, "What do you call marketing?" Dilbert says, "Okay, I'll give you that one." The Boss says, "Sales?" Dilbert says, "Right, but..." The Boss says, "P.R.?" Dilbert says, "Well, yes..." The Boss says, "Finance?" Dilbert says, "I forgot about that one." The Boss says, "Legal?" Dilbert says, "Wow." The Boss says, "Do the next one yourself." Dilbert says, "How about human resour... you win."