Entire Weekend Comic Strips - Page 21

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208 Results for Entire Weekend

View 201 - 208 results for entire weekend comic strips. Discover the best "Entire Weekend" comics from Dilbert.com.

Ceo Makes More Money In Stocks

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Ceo Makes More Money In Stocks - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 28, 2017's comic on:


Tags #rich people, #money, #stock market, #investments, #out of touch, #obliviousness, #stratification

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CEO: Hey, our stock is up two percent. I just made more money than you'll earn in your entire life. Remind me, do I leave you a tip?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 22, 2017's comic on:


Tags #morals, #blame

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Dilbert: Don't finish the software patch. We're replacing the entire system. Man: Why didn't you tell me sooner? Dilbert: I just found out. Man: While you were standing here. Dilbert: Um, no, I was standing somewhere else. Man: When? Dilbert: Twenty minutes ago. Man: Aha!!! You wasted twenty minutes of my time because you're a terrible person! Dilbert; I'm sorry. Now I feel awful. Man: You're just lucky I forgot to work on that patch.

Boss Hits Jackpot

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 Boss Hits Jackpot - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 13, 2017's comic on:


Tags #gambling, #Win, #loss, #money, #obliviousness, #jackpot

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Boss: My side job as a professional gambler is going great. I won a $5,000 jackpot this weekend. Dilbert: How much did you lose? Boss: About $700,000 and my wife. Wally: Didn't you tell her about the $5,000?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 21, 2018's comic on:


Tags #address, #address of meeting, #anger, #driving, #gps, #inattentive, #lost, #meeting, #naviagte, #navigation system, #snap, #using phone, #business

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Dilbert: Whats the address for our meeting? The Boss: You don't need it. I'll tell you where to turn, Dilbert: With all due respect you are not a reliable navigation system. You will be using your phone and you will forget to tell me when to turn. Dilbert: If I point out your inattentiveness you will snap at me,. Dilbert: I wil be seething with anger for the entire drive, while wondering if I am already lost and don't know it. or you could tell me the address now. The boss: You don't need it. I'll tell you when to turn. AN HOUR LATER Dilbert: must... not drive...over...cliff....

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 11, 2018's comic on:


Tags #boss, #cost, #engineering, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #ladder, #waste

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Boss: Do you know where I can find a ladder? Dilbert: I can help you with that, but it will come at a big cost. It took me all morning to finally get "in the zone" to figure out this bug. Your interruption will set me back to square one and cost an entire day of productivity. Meanwhile, the rest of the team can't do their work because they are waiting for me to fix this bug first. So yes, I can help you find a ladder. But it will cost the company about $12,000 in lost productivity. I hope you have a good reason to need a ladder. Boss: I do. Ten minutes earlier. Boss: I wonder what ceiling tiles feel like.

The Candy Honor System

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The Candy Honor System - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 17, 2018's comic on:


Tags #candy, #irritation, #office workers, #steal, #stealing food, #office, #trust

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Carol: I put a candy bowl on my desk, and someone stole the entire bowl within five minutes. I'm old enough to remember when the honor system meant something. What happened to trust? Boss: Maybe the candy wasn't as good back then.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 24, 2019's comic on:


Tags #argument, #debates, #frustration, #office workers, #evidence

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Man: ...And that's what I think about the issue. Dilbert: Here's a Youtube video proving that everything you believe is wrong. Notice this isn't just an opinion. It is a video of the entire event you just claimed did not happen. I'm sending you a link to ten media stories debunking your version of events. Having now proved how wrong you are. Would you like to retract everything you said about it? Man: Why can't you admit when you are wrong? Dilbert: Because I'm not wrong!!!

Wally Covers For Boss

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Wally Covers For Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 03, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #business, #managers & supervisors, #motivation, #vacations

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Boss: I need you to fill in for me while I'm on vacation. I would have asked someone competent, but they're all on vacation next week, too. Please don't destroy the entire company. Wally: Do I seem that motivated?