Market Value Comic Strips - Page 21

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260 Results for Market Value

View 201 - 210 results for market value comic strips. Discover the best "Market Value" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 13, 2009's comic on:


Tags #legal advise, #economy, #pay

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Asok the intern says, "Pssst! I'm doing black market I.T. support to make up for my recent cut in pay." Man says, "Isn't this illegal?" Asok the intern, "Not according to my black market company lawyer." Alice says, "So it's legal to punch vendors?" Dogbert says, "Sure, if they deserve it." Dogbert says, "That's $100, please."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 04, 2009's comic on:


Tags #money, #happy, #bragging, #angry, #economy, #value

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Carol says, "I live in a rented trailer, and all of my money is in my checking account." Carol says, "Your investments are worthless and your mortgage is underwater. My net worth is higher than yours now." Carol says, "I guess promiscuity and a G.E.D. was a pretty good strategy for me after all."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 12, 2009's comic on:


Tags #scheme, #meeting, #payment, #greed, #money, #business

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Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "My base pay will be one dollar per year. The rest will be stock incentives." Dilbert says, "That guarantees you will reap obscene profits when the overall stock market improves, no matter what you do." Dogbert says, "Pretend you don't know that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 02, 2009's comic on:


Tags #marketing, #harmful, #product, #military, #injury, #excited, #violence, #business

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Marketing Man says, "How do we market a product that is known to trigger dispondency and self-mutilation?" Woman says, "So?It has a military application?" Soldier says, "I thought it was just software, but before I knew it I was stabbing myself." General says, "Get me a trillion of there."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 01, 2009's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #ridicule, #cruel, #mean, #rude, #angry, #annoyed, #business

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Catbert: Evil director of human resources Catbert says, "With your skills, you have a variety of career options." Catbert says, "For example, you could flap your arms and fly to a planet that places a high value on morons." Catbert says, "Etcetera."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 03, 2009's comic on:


Tags #therapy, #ignoring, #lying down, #thinking, #complaining, #writing, #psychology

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Dilbert says, "I multitask during conference calls." Dilbert says, "Is it wrong to value my own productivity over the inane babbling of others?" Therapist thinks, "Buy bread?Pickles?Light bulbs?" Dilbert says, "Hello?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 17, 2009's comic on:


Tags #criticism, #project, #pain, #ridicule, #investment, #computer, #technology

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Dilbert thinks, "I have invested all of my self-esteem in this powerpoint presentation." Dilbert thinks, "It is all that I am and all that I will be. It is a digital reckoning of my value." Alice says, "Did they catch the chimp who made your slides?" Dilbert says, "Ow. Ow. Ow."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 01, 2009's comic on:


Tags #sitting, #reading, #judging, #reviewing, #skills, #lying, #panic, #diverting, #attention

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Catbert: Evil director of human resources Catbert says, "According to your skills inventory, the only thing you are good at is?" Catbert says, "?diverting attention from your own lack of value." Wally says, "Is it just me, or is there a deadly gas leak in the building?" Catbert says, "Erk!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 03, 2009's comic on:


Tags #demanding, #stock, #prices, #conspiracy, #idea, #alien

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Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "We need another economic bubble to drive up our stock value." Dogbert says, "Assemble the illuminati!" Man says, "As usual, I'll create the media frenzy, Dogbert will manipulate prices, and IXPU will vaporize the whistle-blowers."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 14, 2009's comic on:


Tags #senator, #bribery, #deal, #legislation, #law, #favor, #manipulation

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the CEO and the senator Dogbert says ,"It wouldn't be legal for me to bribe you." Dogbert says, "So I hired your wife as a consultant despite the fact that she thinks 'Present value' is some sort of gift card." Dogbert says, "And I wrote some legislation for you because you're a lazy thief." Senator says, "Ha ha! Let's call that 'Access'."