Meet Deadline Comic Strips - Page 21
219 Results for Meet Deadline
View 201 - 210 results for meet deadline comic strips. Discover the best "Meet Deadline" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share March 12, 2017's comic on:
Dilbert: Did you finish the wireframe I asked you to do last week? Man: I didn't hear from you, so I assumed you didn't need it. Dilbert: Lat week I asked you to do it and you said you would. Man: Right, but then I didn't hear from you again until now. Dilbert: There wasn't any reason to contact you because you said you would do it! Man: How was I supposed to know that? I assumed your silence meant you changed your mind. Dilbert; Can you finish it by next week? Man: Sure, if you don't pester me about it every minute.
Share March 30, 2017's comic on:
Man: Did you finish the prototype? Wally: I didn't start because I had some questions. Man: Why didn't you ask me those questions a month ago? Wally: I was waiting until I saw you. Man: Fine... what are your questions? Wally: I just realized I didn't write them down.
Share July 27, 2017's comic on:
Boss: Wally can you review this? Wally: I'm on an urgent deadline. Boss: What is the deadline for? Wally: It's a secret project. Boss: Why don't I know about this? Wally: I don't know. I haven't studied your ignorance in that much detail.
Share August 19, 2017's comic on:
Boss: How fast can you fix the bug? Dilbert: I won't know until I dig in. Boss: Give me a random guess and I promise I won't hold you to it. Dilbert: Okay, three days. Boss: Now write that into your goals and get it done in three days or else. Dilbert: Why do I keep falling for that?!!!
Share September 15, 2017's comic on:
Dilbert: Robot, I'd like you to meet Randy. He has no soul, just like you. Robot: What's the etiquette for this situation? Do we high-five, then kill the soul-bag where he stands? Dilbert: I can hear you. Randy: He makes a good point. It would be better to surprise him.
Share October 02, 2017's comic on:
Boss: Is the software finished? Dilbert: Software is never finished. Boss: Did you fix all of the bugs? Dilbert: There's no way to know. Boss: I can't manage you if you don't learn to lie. Dilbert: Okay, the software will be perfect in 2.3 days.
Share January 28, 2018's comic on:
The boss: I need this finished by Friday. Dilbert: This assignment will suck up 100% of my free time and turn my happy life into a f=death march. The boss: Thats why we pay you. You pay me so you can ruin my life? The boos: perhaps i said that wrong. The Boss: what I meant is that I don't care how you fell as long as I get my bonus. Dilbert: You're a cold, heartless monster with no sense of shame!!!! The Boss: That why they pay me.
Share February 18, 2018's comic on:
Wally: May I borrow your headphones while you're at lunch? Dilbert: would they touch your ears? WALLY: Yes. Dilbert:I reject your request. I don't want cooties on my headphones. Dilbert: Plus, you never return anything you borrow. Wally: Why would you care if my ears touch something you will neve see again? Lets meet halfway. I'll return the headphones, but they will smell of me forever. Dilbert: Then you might as well just keep them! It doesnt feel like he met me halfway.
Share February 11, 2018's comic on:
The Boss: Dilbert, I need you to wear this harazzmat suit when you meet with Tina. Tina will also be wearing a harazmatt suit. The suits will prevent you from trying to harass each other. You won't be able to speak directly. A radio inside the suit will transmit your words to our human resources department. Human resources will scrub your sentences of any inappropriate content before delivery. Dilbert: Doyon wear a harrazzmat suit when you talk to Tina privately? The Boss: No, but she wears three of them.
Share February 04, 2018's comic on:
The Boss: Wally, Im promoting you to the position of slow walker. Wally: I am almost curious about what that entails. The Boss: I'll be giving you all the assignments that could make my rivals in management successful. All you have to of is low walk those projects until they die from lack of energy. Wally: Its about time you recognized my value. Ive been pre[aring for this moment all of my life. The Boss: Meet me in my office in ten minutes for you new assignments. You're supposed to be here two hours ago. Wally: Is it too soon to ask for a raise?