Money Comic Strips - Page 21
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612 Results for Money
View 201 - 210 results for money comic strips. Discover the best "Money" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday September 23,
2013
Tags #big business, #executives, #money, #corporate strcucture, #derivatives, #offshore accounts, #goodwill, #customers, #feel beholden
Transcript
CEO: Our corporate structure is so complicated that I have no idea where our money even comes from I think it comes from derivatives or offshore accounts or maybe goodwill. Dilbert: Or maybe customers give us money. CEO: I hope not. I don't like to feel beholden.
Friday October 04,
2013
Tags #avarice, #executives, #products decline, #amrketing, #improving, #huge raises, #money
Transcript
Boss: Our products are getting worse every day. But our marketing keeps improving. We're very close to the point where our customers will give us money for no reason. Then we can give ourselves huge raises and do no work at all. CEO: I like everything you said, except the "we" part.
Tuesday December 03,
2013
Tags #frustration, #money, #takes money, #makes money
Transcript
Boss: IT takes money to make money. Dilbert: Where did the first money come from? Wally: I'm pretty sure it takes money to waste money, too Boss: Please stop talking!
Monday December 16,
2013
Tags #charitable organizations, #competition (psychology), #raise money, #shave head, #bald man
Transcript
Boss: If we raise $40,000 for charity, I will shave my head! Wally: And if we raise no money at all, I will shave my head. Boss: That's messed up. Wally: Is it?
Monday January 13,
2014
Tags #employees, #mental health, #vision not money, #mental problems, #low self esteem, #performance review, #business
Transcript
Boss: We need employees that are motivated by our vision, not by money. Catbert: Are we looking for any other mental problems, or just that one? Boss: I"m also a big fan of low self-esteem. It comes in handy at performance review time.
Monday March 17,
2014
Tags #work ethic, #brain wash, #company profits, #more imprtant, #employers engagement, #12 hour days, #work for money
Transcript
Catbert: I'm going to brainwash you to believe company profits are more important than your health. It's called "employee engagement," and it will make you work 12-hour days while thinking you enjoy every minute of it. Dilbert: Can I just work for money? Catbert: Why are you being a jerk about this?
Saturday May 17,
2014
Tags #efficiency experts, #friendship, #money, #you won't quit, #friends at work, #pay less, #relationships
Transcript
Boss: Experts say you'll be more engaged if you have a friend at work. And when you're engaged, I can pay you less and you won't quit. Dilbert: So this guy is costing me money? Wally: Don't flatter yourself. I barely know your name.
Tuesday May 20,
2014
Tags #crime victims, #embarrassment, #lost money, #phishing scam, #questioning support, #stifle laugh
Transcript
Boss; I lost all of my money to a phishing scam. Catbert: Must... stifle... laugh. Mmmph! Pressure is building. Must contain... \\ Boss: Are you being supportive? I can't tell. Catbert: Mmmph!
Wednesday July 16,
2014
Tags #money, #trees, #computer model, #genetically modify, #tree growth, #rare earth minerals, #run a trail, #money dents grow on trees, #fault
Transcript
Dilbert: My computer model indicates that I can genetically modify a tree to grow leaves made of rare earth minerals. All I need is a hundred dollars to run a trial. Boss: Sorry. Money doesn't grow on trees. Dilbert: Well, now we know whose fault that is. Boss: Strangers?
Tuesday September 16,
2014
Tags #choosing, #wages, #scientific reaserch, #happiness, #more money, #renounce science, #el gato diablo, #psychology, #money
Transcript
Catbert: According to scientific research, your happiness will not increase if you make more money. Therefore, I can only authorize a raise for you if you renounce science. Say it! Say you renounce science! Dilbert: El gato diablo!