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Trapped Under Rubble

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Trapped Under Rubble - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 01, 2016's comic on:

Tags #freedom, #guest artist, #happiness, #job, #misery, #satisfaction, #john glynn, #business, #psychology

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Asok: I miss the freedom I had as an Uber driver. This job feels like being trapped under rubble. Wally: We old-timers have a name for that feeling. Asok: What is it? Wally: "Better than average."

The Science Of Astrology

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The Science Of Astrology - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 11, 2016's comic on:

Tags #Astrology, #metaphysics, #science, #planning, #sign, #zodiac, #pseudoscience

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Carol: I'll need to know your astrological sign before I put you on his schedule. In the old days, I just gave people the first available slot. It was chaos. Dilbert: So now you use the science of astrology? Carol: It's better than science. It's an art.

Talking About The Last Job

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Talking About The Last Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 10, 2016's comic on:

Tags #personality, #comparing, #employees, #dumb, #business, #psychology

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Man: I will now compare my last job to this one because it is all I ever talk about. Everyone was so much smarter at my old job. Fuh-fuh-fuh-fuh. Dilbert: I assume that's why they fired you. Man: Lucky guess.

Nothing Else To Talk About

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Nothing Else To Talk About - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 11, 2016's comic on:

Tags #personality, #boring, #bored, #conversation, #small talk, #psychology

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Man: Do you want to know how we would have handled this situation at my old job? Dilbert: No. Dilbert: Nothing would interest me less. Man: My only other topics of conversation are my health problems and TV shows you haven't seen. Dilbert: I stand corrected.

Bought His Last Company

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Bought His Last Company - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 12, 2016's comic on:

Tags #comparison, #comparing, #merger, #acquisition, #liquidation, #layoff, #redundancy, #big business, #competition, #darwin

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Man: That's now how we did it at my prior company. Boss: We bought your old company, fired all of the employees, and discontinued all of its products. Man: How is that possible? Boss: It's called "survival of the fittest." It's just science.

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Robotic Hair Transplant

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Robotic Hair Transplant - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 30, 2017's comic on:

Tags #coffee, #conversation, #hair, #surgery, #medical

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Never go to a robotic hair transplant center on the same day they upgrade the software. Is that the surgery where they take hair from the back of your head and fill in the bald spot? That's how the old software worked. The new one didn't respect boundaries.

Family Of Squirrels In A Tire

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Family Of Squirrels In A Tire - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 03, 2017's comic on:

Tags #competition, #management, #managers, #obliviousness, #direction

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Boss: Why can't we innovate as quickly as our competition? Dilbert: Maybe it's because our management is like a family of squirrels that lives inside an old tree. Boss: Can you be more specific? Dilbert: It's a Goodyear tire with five grey squirrels.

Alice And The Legacy System

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Alice And The Legacy System - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 23, 2017's comic on:

Tags #dedication, #work ethic, #boredom, #overwork, #time

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Alice: Does it bother you to work on the old legacy system when the rest of us are doing exciting new things? Wally: I leave work at 4 p.m. every day. Wally: How about you? Alice: Squatters keep moving into my house.

Robot Reincarnates

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Robot Reincarnates - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 12, 2017's comic on:

Tags #artificial intelligence, #robot, #technology, #memory, #ethics

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Robot: Hey, everybody! I'm the new robot! Dilbert: No, you're our old robot. We erased your memories and replaced your head. Robot: So, I'm working with serial killers? Asok: It isn't "serial" until we do you.

Asok Upgrades His Soul

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Asok Upgrades His Soul - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 17, 2018's comic on:

Tags #actions, #beliefs, #empty life, #hilarious, #legacy souls, #social media, #dopamine, #delivery systems, #technology

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Asok: I used to have a traditional soul, but I upgraded it. Now I let the major social media companies control my beliefs and actions through their dopamine delivery systems., Dilbert: That sounds like and empty life. Asok: you old- timers with your legacy souls are hilarious.