Pig Without Sun Comic Strips - Page 21
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290 Results for Pig Without Sun
View 201 - 210 results for pig without sun comic strips. Discover the best "Pig Without Sun" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday February 25,
2013
Tags complaining, ignorance (knowledge), product features, hodge podge, complexity, teamwork
Transcript
Dilbert: I added all of the product features that each of you demanded. Now our product is a worthless hodgepodge of complexity. I appreciate your input. I couldn't have failed without you. Boss: Teamwork!
Saturday March 02,
2013
Tags conversation, upgrade, unstable network, risks, folksy response, break eggs
Transcript
Dilbert: The upgrade could make our network unstable. Boss: You can't make an omelet without breaking some eggs. Dilbert: I interpret your folksy response to mean I should upgrade the network despite the risks. Boss: No, I'm saying I'll break your eggs if the network goes down.
Friday February 22,
2008
Tags wally fired, exit interview, manipulation, rigged system, boss, exploding servers
Transcript
Wally: I don't hold any grudges about being fired for hanging a comic on the wall. The company will be fine without my secret and exclusive knowledge of the critical systems. If the framistan starts to gabol, just purge the cache within sixty seconds and the servers won't explode.
Saturday August 09,
2008
Tags security software, insisting, critical updates, critical upadtes, no win
Transcript
Wally says, "My security software kept insisting that I download critical updates." Wally says, "I didn't have time to do all that, and I couldn't risk using my computer without critical updates. It was a no-win situation." The Boss says, "Did you accomplish anything this week?" Wally says, "What part of 'no-win' is confusing you?"
Wednesday September 10,
2008
Tags bought entire era system, software, money, boat sinkiing, anchor to head, staff, out of money, engineering
Transcript
The Boss says, "We inadvertently bought an entire ERP system without any software. Now we're out of money." Asok says, "Why do I suddenly feel like my boat is sinking and someone nailed an anchor to my head?" The Boss says, "If only someone on my staff could write the software in his spare time..." Asok says, "Glub glub glub"
Wednesday February 17,
2010
Tags ombudsman, management, dispute, consultation, question, soul, value, creepy, no pupils, blank eyes, carefree attitude, envy, devil
Transcript
The New Ombudsman Asok says, "How can you be impartial in my dispute with management when they are the ones paying you?" Helen Fry says, "Perhaps you have something of value that would allow me to see your side." Wally says, "He's creepy without his soul, but I envy his carefree attitude."
Thursday February 18,
2010
Tags helen fry, ombudsman, devil, no pupils, blank eyes, soul, take, marketing, meeting, asset, volunteer, excited, raise hand, lie, business
Transcript
Asok says, "Our ombudsman took my soul in exchange for a favorable view." Asok says, "I'd like a transfer to marketing, where having no soul is widely considered an asset." Man says, "I need someone who can make our product sound competitive without vomiting on his own copy." Asok says, "Ooh! Ooh!"
Tuesday June 08,
2010
Tags birthday cake, coworker, Scott, spit, candle, sarcastic, queen of england, fancy
Transcript
Carol says, "We're having a birthday cake for Scott in the break room." Dilbert says, "No thanks. I prefer cake that isn't frosted with the spit of recent candle-blowing." Carol says, "Oooh, look at the Queen of England who likes her cake without spit. What's it like to be fancy?"
Saturday September 25,
2010
Tags communication skills, training, class, stand on stool, idiots, pairs, coworker
Transcript
Communication Skills Training Dogbert says, "Today you will learn how to listen to idiots without snoring." Dogbert says, "Break into groups of two, with one idiot and one non-idiot in each pair."
Wednesday November 10,
2010
Tags security consultant, meeting, angry, shake, ears up, surprise, fillings, dentist, id badge, business
Transcript
Dogbert the Security Consultant Dogbert says, "Anyone without an I.D. badge is assumed to be an enemy combatant." Dogbert says, "Pounce on the intruder and shake him until his fillings fall out!" Alice says, "How much did we pay for that advice?" Dogbert says, "It's free. I work for the dentist across the street."