Shake Hand Comic Strips - Page 21

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354 Results for Shake Hand

View 201 - 210 results for shake hand comic strips. Discover the best "Shake Hand" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags stressed out, work, feel better, verbally abused, co worker, money spit, use that one

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Dilbert is sitting between Wally and Ted and thinks: "I'm stressed out about work. Maybe I'd feel better if I verbally abused a co-worker." Ted raises his hand and screams to Dilbert: "You worthless piece of monkey spit!" Dilbert turns to Ted and thinks: "Dang. I was going to use that one." Ted rests his feet on the table, puts his hands on the back of his head and says: "Aah..."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags fake disability claim, disabled, hard to believe, note from doctor, obvious, long time

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Wally says to Dilbert as he pours himself a cup of coffee in the break room, "I'm thinking about going out on a fake disability claim." Wally and Dilbert are walking with a cup of coffee in hand. Wally goes on to say, "Do you think anyone will believe I'm disabled?" Dilbert replies sarcastically to himself without speaking, "It's hard to believe you're not." Wally enters The Boss' office and asks, "Do you need a note from my doctor?" The Boss replies sarcastically unenthused, "No, it's been obvious for a long time."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags skydiving, planting false memories, subconscious, college, education

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Dilbert and Dogbert are sitting on the sofa. Dogbert, who is sitting atop the back of the couch, asks Dilbert "Remember the time you went skydiving?" Dilbert replies with the TV remote in hand, "No." Dogbert says, "You will. I'm planting false memories in your subconscious." Dilbert replies, "It won't work." Dogbert says, "But you believe you went to college, right?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bounced back into plane, didn't open, false memory, parachute, skydiving, tell story, trampoline, planted by dogbert

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Dilbert, Alice and Wally are sitting together eating lunch. Dilbert asks them, "Did I ever tell you about the time I went skydiving?" Alice replies, "That sounds like a false memory planted by Dogbert." Dilbert throws one hand in the air in denial as he says "Blah!" Dilbert says, "My parachute didn't open. Luckily, I landed on a trampoline and bounced back into the plane."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags global communications, de orbiting satellites, swimming pools, deadly flame balls, speeding toward earth

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Pointing to a picture the Boss says, "We'll be shutting down our global comunications business and de-orbiting our satellites." Dilbert raises his hand and says to the Boss, "Question: Wouldn't that create dozens of deadly flame balls speeding toward earth?" The Boss replies, "That's why we're aiming for cities that have lots of swimming pools."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags self service consulting, crate of anvils, centralized, decentralized, strategy

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Dogbert says to the staff during a session of self-service consulting, "I was hired because you're all dumber than a crate of anvils." Dogbert continues, "Now, can anyone tell me if your operations are centralized or decentralized?" Asok waves his hand excitedly, "Ooh! Ooh! I just thought of a strategy!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags uninterrupted, productivity, crumbs in sink, black sheep

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Dilbert thinks to himself while sitting at his desk, "Today I will know the joy of uninterrupted productivity." Wally approaches Dilbert with a cup of coffee in hand and says, "We're forming a posse to find out who leaves crumbs in the sink." Dilbert replies, "I assume it's you." Wally answers, "We need more black sheep around here."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags doomed projects, fake mergencies, more efficient, unnecessary meetings, to do list

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Sitting at his computer, Dilbert thinks to himself "This to-do list will make me more efficient." Dilbert continues thinking to himself, "I have three fake emergencies, two doomed projects, four unnecessary meetings..." At home, Dilbert says to Dogbert "I figured out why you never ask me how my day day went." Dogbert replies, shooing Dilbert away with one hand, "Off you go."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags key to success, really fast, speed, ok to fail

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Pointing to a picture of a man running, the Boss says to his staff "Speed is the key to success." Dilbert raises his hand and asks, "Is it okay to do things wrong if we're really fast?" The Boss answers, "Um...no." Wally says to Dilbert, "Now I'm all confused. Thank you very much."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags huge demand, laugh at yourself, employes

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The Boss puts his hand on Ted's back and says, "Ted, there's a huege demand for employees like you." The Boss continues, "Not you specifically...which is funny if you think about it." The Boss calls after him as he walks away, "Hey, if you can't laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at?"