Stand On Stool Comic Strips - Page 21

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218 Results for Stand On Stool

View 201 - 210 results for stand on stool comic strips. Discover the best "Stand On Stool" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, delight, lower pay, new member, project team, shirt backwards

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The Boss introduces a coworker to Dilbert, "Dilbert, I got a new member for your project team." The coworker extends his hand and says, "My name is Ron but everyone calls me Mo. I don't know why." Dilbert asks, "Mo, why is your shirt on backward?" Mo looks down and exclaims, "What??! Again??!" Mo extends his arms and says, "Stand back. I'll try to fix it by quickly turning around." Mo spins and exclaims, "Aaagh! Hu-aah!" Mo is turned away from Dilbert. Mo says, "Oh, great. Now Dilbert is gone. I must have entered another dimension." Dilbert looks at Mo from behind, puzzled. Dilbert approaches The Boss and says, "Please tell me that his pay is lower than mine." The Boss grins and thinks, "I love this part."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags layoffs, fly on wall, poof, wally as fly, rational budget decions, who do we hate, fly eating donut, mean, board of directors

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Dilbert and Wally stand in the hallway looking into the conference room where the Boss is having a meeting. Dilbert says, "They must be talking about the layoffs." Wally says, "I'd like to be a fly on that wall." Suddenly, "Poof!" and Wally is turned into a fly. Wally is seen in fly form, with his head on a fly's body. He says, "Great...the one time I get my wish..." Wally flies into the room as the Boss says, "Let's focus on our priorities and make rational budget decisions." The whole room erupts in laughter: "Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!" The Boss continues speaking as Wally flies in close to his coffee and donut. The Boss says, "Back to reality. I'll fire Ted; he creeps me out. Who else do we hate?" Wally lands on the donut as the Boss says, "Hey, my donut is gettting eaten by the world's ugliest fly!" Wally says, "Bonanza!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags save money, each unit, idea, vp, beter ideas, fist of death, something hits me, alice punches

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Carol sits in her cubicle saying to the Boss, "...and that way we'll save money on each unit we build." The Boss replies, "Let's try that idea with our VP." Alice and the Boss sit in front of the VP. The VP says, "Wow. Great idea. Who thought of it?" Alice and the Boss both sit looking pleased. The Boss says, "Well, I have to admit..." The Boss continues, "It's one of my better ideas." Alice sits totally shocked. Alice stands furious and shaking, thinking, "Must...control...fist of death." The Boss continues, "Sometimes I'll just be standing there..." Alice thinks, "GAAA!" as the Boss continues, "And POW! Something hits me." Alice and the VP stand on either side of the Boss' legs up in the air. Alice says, "Thank you." The VP holds out her shaking hand and says, "I tried to control it but I couldn't."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags inform carol, whereabouts, wandering around, canceled policy, stupid policy, work for carol, keeping track everyone

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Dilbert and Wally are facing The Boss at a conference table. The Boss says, "Yesterday I needed to ask Dilbert a question but I couldn't find him." The Boss' voice continues, "From now on, each of you must inform Carol of your whereabouts at all times." Alice turns to Wally and whispers, "Handle it." Wally walks past Carol's desk with a coffee cup in his hand. He reports, "I'll be wandering around with my coffee cup." He continues, as Carol frowns in the background: "If I find a newspaper I'll take a break in marketing's luxurious rest facilities." He continues, "Then I'll stop by the cute intern's cubicle to do some flirting." Carol sits thoroughly irritated and he continues nonetheless: "I stand in her doorway so she can't escape. I think I'm making progress." He goes to take a sip of coffee and concludes, "I'm becoming immune to pepper spray." Carol enters The Boss' office and says, "I canceled your stupid policy." The Boss continues to read the newspaper, unaffected.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags flirting, cashier, phoney, customer service smile, required, looks like flirting, Wally

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A smiling female employee, handing Dilbert change, says, "Thank you. Have a nice day." Dilbert thinks, "She's flirting with me." Dilbert says to the woman, "Um... Would you like to go out on Saturday?" The woman, still smiling, says, "I wasn't flirting. This is my phony customer service smile." The woman says to Dilbert, "Employees are required to smile." Dilbert asks the woman, "Okay. But now you're flirting, aren't you?" The woman answers, "No, still phony." Walking away, Dilbert thinks, "Wally has to see this." Wally and Dilbert stand looking at the smiling woman. Wally says, "Hey, it looks like she's flirting with me!" Dilbert says, "Is this great or what?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags internet & world wide web, sales personnel, deluxe edition, store, online shopping, unnecessary warranty extenstion, digital receipt

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Dilbert: Okay, you talked me into buying the deluxe edition. Salesman: We don't have that one in stock, but I could call around to our other stores. Dilbert: Technically, that means this is not actually a store. You're more like online shopping, but with a terrible user interface. Watch me buy that same item with my phone while you stand there being obsolete. And... done. Salesman: Did they try to sell you an unnecessary warranty extension? Dilbert: No. Salesman: Yes! I still have a purpose! Dilbert: Here's my digital receipt.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags crimes, revenge, difficult co workers, jerks, jar of polonium, deal with difficulty, office, Politics, registered, dog, stool, animals

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Dogbert: Today you'll learn how to deal with difficult co-workers. Jerks will always be jerks. Your only hope is to kill them in ways that are untraceable. Boss: We need to talk. Dogbert: Each of you got a jar of polonium when you registered.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags logic, reasoning, managing, managers, leadership, quality, absurd

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Dilbert: You assigned a pack of idiots to my project team. Boss: We can't afford to hire good people. Dilbert: How am I supposed to create world-class products with a team of disruptive idiots? Boss: Try working extra hard. Dilbert: You want us to be more energetic about our bad decisions? Boss: You also have to put in the hours. Dilbert: Are you saying bad decisions, plus long hours, plus lots of enthusiasm, produces great engineering? Boss: Not if you stand around yacking about it all day.

Accused Of Forgery

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Accused Of Forgery - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags motivation, performance, forgery, pessimism, giving up, resistance

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Catbert: You stand accused of forging an expense approval from the head of Marketing. Your malfeasance caused the project to finish on time and under budget. Next time, just give up and lose hope like everyone else. Dilbert: Will do.

Nothing Else To Talk About

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Nothing Else To Talk About - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags personality, boring, bored, conversation, small talk, psychology

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Man: Do you want to know how we would have handled this situation at my old job? Dilbert: No. Dilbert: Nothing would interest me less. Man: My only other topics of conversation are my health problems and TV shows you haven't seen. Dilbert: I stand corrected.