Steal Best Comic Strips - Page 21
Search Filters
Year
- 2022
- 2021
- 2020
- 2019
- 2018
- 2017
- 2016
- 2015
- 2014
- 2013
- 2012
- 2011
- 2010
- 2009
- 2008
- 2007
- 2006
- 2005
- 2004
- 2003
- 2002
- 2001
- 2000
- 1999
- 1998
- 1997
- 1996
- 1995
- 1994
- 1993
- 1992
- 1991
- 1990
- 1989
Character
362 Results for Steal Best
View 201 - 210 results for steal best comic strips. Discover the best "Steal Best" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday December 19,
2003
Tags #made up language, #inventing language, #downsized, #no word
Transcript
Boss: "Alice, I don't know the best way to say this but I'll try." "Oog - nah wahgoo yagga bliphnow elga nooey fip wah!" "That's a language I'm inventing in my spare time. It has no word for 'you're downsized.'"
Tuesday February 17,
2004
Tags #pursue disruptive innovations.glorious, #fully funded, #amzing, #free from bureaucracy, #bean bag charis
Transcript
DOGBURT CONSULTS dogcart: "I recommend forming a separate group to pursue disruptive innovations." "It will be a glorious place: fully funded, amazing ambiance, brilliant people, free from bureaucracy." "Best of all, once a year they'll let you losers tour their work space and sit in their bean bag chairs."
Tuesday September 21,
2004
Tags #brown bag seminars, #ethical, #ethics problems, #seminar
Transcript
The Boss: The company will be holding a series of brown bag seminars on corporate ethics. Dilbert:is it ethical to steal our lunch hour and pretend that the ethics problems sent come from our executives? The Boss: I wouldn't know because I haven't taken the seminar.
Sunday December 12,
1999
Tags #new employees, #sophie, #engineer, #incompetent husband, #agree to relocate, #talent, #addition, #squirrel heads, #engineering
Transcript
The boss pokes his head into Dilbert's cubicle and says to Dilbert: "Dilbert, come meet the two new employees." The boss introduces Dilbert to the new employee and they both extend their hands to shake. The boss says: "This is Sophie, one of the best engineers in the business." Dilbert thinks: "the drawing of a heart" The boss points to the other new employee and says: "The other one is her imcompetent husband." The boss stands between the two new employess and says: "We had to hire him so Sophie would agree to relocate." The husband says to the boss: "Are you saying I didn't get hired for my talent." Sophie says to her husband: "You don't have any talent, honey" The husband answers: "Oh, that's right." The boss stands with his back to the husband and says to Dilbert: "Dilbert, your job is to do his job in addition to your own." Dilbert is sitting at his computer with Sophie's husband to his side. The husband says: "Do you want to see my collection of squirrel heads?"
Tuesday May 03,
2005
Tags #sharing cubicle, #one chair, #sit on lap, #star trek
Transcript
I hope you don't mind that I'll be sharing your cubicle. "Umm...I don't mind." "There's only one chair. Do you mind if I sit on your lap?" "Umm...I don't mind. I can't imagine how this could be better." "Which one of the Star Trek series did you like best?"
Monday June 20,
2005
Tags #bungee jump, #ceo, #dogcart consults, #reckless adventurer, #volcano, #worst performer
Transcript
Dogbert Consults "Your CEO is the worst performer in the entire Fortune 500." "Your best bet is to convince him to become a reckless adventurer." "Tell me again why I'd want to bungee jump into an active volcano?" "Because you can!"
Tuesday June 28,
2005
Tags #being ceo, #made smarter, #capital of japan, #mitubishi, #genius
Transcript
The best part about being CEO is that it made me smarter. Watch this. "The capital of Japan is Mitsubishi." "That's right! You're a genius!" "Yesterday I would have said nine."
Saturday July 23,
2005
Tags #calculate expected value, #pretend to be dead, #cover ears
Transcript
Dilbert: The best way to make this decision is by calculating the expected value of each possible outcome. you multiply the... The Boss: Must pretend to be dead. Dilbert: I sense that were done here. The Boss: I hope the dead sometimes cover their ears.