Wish Hard Comic Strips - Page 21
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377 Results for Wish Hard
View 201 - 210 results for wish hard comic strips. Discover the best "Wish Hard" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday June 21,
2001
Tags #loser, #no girlfreind, #business traveler, #call, #check her story, #order food, #waitress, #hard time, #restaurant
Transcript
Dilbert sits alone at a table in a restaurant. A waitress comes to take his order and he says, "I'm not a loser who can't get a date. I'm a business traveller." The waitress replies, "What's your girlfriend's name? I'll call her and check out your story." Dilbert, embarassed, looks down at his menu and says, "Maybe I should order." The waitress says, "Maybe you should."
Tuesday December 18,
2001
Tags #competitive compensation, #competitive means not highest
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert and Alice, "According to this survey the compensation here is 'competitive.'" Dilbert responds, "Competitive means not the highest. So we could get paid more if we worked at another company?" Dilbert continues, "Should we continue working as hard as we can or should we back off to a more competitive level?"
Friday January 11,
2002
Tags #job as waiter, #job as engineer, #qualified, #manager, #slapping drunk
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert are sitting at the kitchen table drinking coffee. Dilbert says, "Maybe I'll take a job as a waiter until I can get a job as an engineer." Dogbert replies, "You're not qualified to wait on tables." Dilbert responds, "How hard could it be?" A waiter is juggling dishes unsteadily. He says to Dilbert, "The manager is over there slapping a drunk."
Sunday March 26,
2000
Tags #points at screen, #oily finger, #clean screen, #hover finger, #losing aura of infalliability
Transcript
The Boss points to the screen and tells Tina the Tech Writer while she is behind her computer: "Tina, move that title..." He continues: "...over here." Tina screams: "Aaaagh!!" She exclaims: "Your finger oil is on my screen!!!" She says: "Now I have to spend ten minutes cleaning it..." She continues: "...because you don't understand how to hover your finger." She demonstrates for the Boss: "See?! This isn't hard. You hover the finger! Don't touch!" The Boss thinks as he is walking away: "I hope I'm not losing my aura of infallibility."
Wednesday January 29,
2003
Tags #visibuddy, #mindless replica, #increases visibility, #golf, #nice guy, #invention, #fake clone, #robot, #Sports
Transcript
Dilbert fastens the head atop a robot of himself. He says to Dilbert, "I call my invention the 'Visibuddy.'" Dilbert continues, "It's a mindless replica that can attend meeting and increase my visibility." The Visibuddy, The Boss, and Dilbert are in a meeting. The Visibuddy asks The Boss, "Am I working hard or hardly working? Do you golf?" The Boss thinks, "Nice guy."
Saturday March 08,
2003
Tags #loser magazine, #forgetting, #sounds good, #fame
Transcript
The reporter says to Wally, "Your story is perfect for 'Loser Magazine.'" The reporter continues, "It makes me wish I'd written it down because I'm already forgetting...Oops, it's gone." The reporter concludes, "I'll just make up something that sounds good. And I'll use photos of a model. Thanks, Willy." Wally thinks, "I'm famous!"
Saturday August 02,
2003
Tags #pointy haired, #takeover, #should report, #secret got out, #extra money
Transcript
"Our goal is nothing less than a complete takeover of pointy-haired Carl's software division." "We'll start secretly doing their jobs in addition to our own. Then I'll argue that they should report to me." "Hypothetically, if the secret got out, would we stop working twice as hard for no extra money?"
Wednesday September 10,
2003
Tags #project manager, #direct natural talent, #energy, #common goal, #agenda, #copies of agenda, #health
Transcript
wally: "I've never been a project manager before." "I understand I'm supposed to direct your natural talents and energies toward a common goal." Wally: "Carol, did you make copies of the agenda?" Carol: "No, it sounded hard."
Monday January 05,
2004
Tags #trick, #paper, #look busy, #paper trick, #hallways, #wander, #office, #appearences, #rest, #avoid work
Transcript
"It looks like an ordinary piece of paper, but I added this finger holder." "Now when I wander the hallways looking busy I can totally rest my hand." "Working hard?" "Not any more!"
Saturday October 02,
2004
Tags #energy, #million dollar salary, #secreatry, #shareholder meeting, #spank, #stock options, #turned ugly, #beat up, #bandages, #health
Transcript
CEO: The shareholder meeting turned ugly when I said we used all the profits to give ourselves stock options. They don't understand that I wouldn't work as hard if all I got was my million dollar case salary. Id barely have the energy ti spans my secretary. The boss: Too much info